His tales replenish your soul
but they're pretty dark
Increases meat drops and stats after combat
Produces a consumable item that increases adventures
Ability: Has the properties of both a Leprechaun and a Blood-Faced Volleyball, drops grim fairy tales
Throne/Bjorn: Monsters will be more attracted to you, drops grim fairy tale
Hatchling: praying Grim Brother
Familiar-Specific Equipment: Grim Brothers' story book
- At the end of combat:
- <name> ends a tale with, <tale end> You nod and search for more Meat to take your mind off the awful story he just told.
- You blanch as <name> finishes a story with, <tale end> You search for extra Meat, just to take your mind off the tale.
- You tune into the tale <name> has been telling in time to hear him say, <tale end> You quickly turn away and search for more Meat, to take your mind off the horrid story.
- "and so Prince Charming woke up the girl and she was subservient to him the rest of their lives, naturally."
- "and so the dogs fell upon the fox and tore him apart, alive. What did the fox say? Mostly 'AIIIIIIIGGGGH!'."
- "and so the handsome Prince married the serving-girl, and then he let himself go and stopped showing affection, and the new Queen started seeing one of the stable boys on the side."
- "and so the Prince attempted to climb up the fair maiden's hair, only to rip it out of her scalp, landing with a thump on the ground surrounded by bloody split ends."
- "and so the Prince climbed up the fair maiden's hair, only to find her witch mother standing there. She poked out his eyes with knitting needles, filleted his spleen, and ate his kidneys."
- "and the beautiful maiden's head was so addled by Stockholm Syndrome that she fell in love with the hideous beast who kidnapped her, and they lived happily ever after."
- "and the Prince kissed the sleeping maiden, and she awoke, and she thanked the Prince cordially but said he really wasn't her type, but she was forced into an arranged marriage with him anyway."
- "and the Prince married the girl who danced with him all night at the ball, and together they continued to perpetrate the abuses of the monarchy for years, right up until the violent revolution, in which they were both beheaded."
- "and the seven dwarfs fought each other to the death for the hand of the beautiful princess, until not a one remained."
- "and they all lived happily ever after, except the naughty child, who was disemboweled by wolves."
- "and with his last wish, Aladdin freed the genie, and the genie immediately atomized Aladdin because he was still mad about being locked in a lamp for ten thousand years."
- "but the scissor-man came for the naughty child and cut off both of his thumbs while the child screamed for mercy. The end."
- "of course, the evil queen was torn apart alive by rabid weasels, that goes without saying."
- <name> finishes an illustrated manuscript with a final flourish, and hands it to you to read.
- <name> breaks through his writer's block on his new story, and smiles as he relates how having the protagonist get eaten by a gnu will tie things up neatly.
- <name> ends a story with "and they all lived happily ever after," without even a single dismemberment, and smiles.
- <name> finishes a story. You guess that the moral of the story is "don't trust whitey," and he smiles at your joke.
- <name> finishes a story without any heavy-handed moralizing in it, and smiles at his success.
- <name> finishes a story without anyone getting roasted, flayed, or disemboweled alive, and beams at you.
- <name> gets a new idea for a story, and smiles as he starts to tell it.
- <name> has an inspiration for a pleasant story without any vivisection in it and smiles at his success.
- <name> manages to end a story without disemboweling any characters, and smiles beatifically.
- <name> manages to tell a whole story without any horrific torture in it, and smiles enthusiastically.
- <name> recalls the time he entertained a whole orphanage full of children with a terrifying story, and smiles happily..
- Enthroned in the Crown of Thrones:
- <name> shouts down, "I've just finished a perfectly ghastly fairy tale! You simply must read it!"
- Bjornified in the Buddy Bjorn:
- <name> hands you a sheaf of papers. "My latest manuscript! It's a real 'scream'!" he says, without a trace of humor in his voice.
- With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:
- <name> nods grimly beneath the Tam O'Shanter, blinking serenely.
- With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:
- <name> dances around the Maypole like an evil witch forced to wear red-hot iron shoes.
- With wax lips equipped:
- <name> looks a little weird with the artificial smile over his normally grim expression.
- When entered in an Ultimate Cage Match:
- Grim Brothers have taken a vow of non-violence, and if you ask why, they'll kick your butt.
- Once a day, you can [talk] to your familiar (from the familiar page) to get the encounter Barely Tales.
- The grim tale drops from being enthroned/bjornified only drop twice a day, regardless if you place the brother in both or just one.
•The Brothers Grimm were early ethnographers and recorders of Fairy Tales.