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- You are a boat sailing down a polluted river. Unlike most things in the Kingdom of Loathing, this boat will move of its own account; upwards, to be more specific. Using LEFT and RIGHT or the arrow keys of your keyboard, you can move your boat left and right.
- Your objective is to collect treasure (which grants you points) and avoid garbage (which ends your session).
- Garbage can only be moved onto from below; trying to access some from the side will yield no fruit.
- The farther you displace yourself from your starting position, the faster you travel.
- Accessed by using an LCD game: Garbage River.
- There are four possible states for a tile:
- While the game is active, it can be played an unlimited number of times.
- QUITting PLAYING will consume one LCD game: Garbage River with the message:
- You stop playing the primitive game, and just in time -- as you're putting it away, the batteries die, so you decide to put it away in the garbage instead.