Game Messages

From TheKolWiki

This page is in need of content Desperately needs many more messages and references.

[edit] Game Messages

[edit] Performing Buffs

• Trying to Buff Someone who's in Combat

That player is busy fighting a monster right now. Try again later.

• Trying to Buff Someone who's in Ronin

That player cannot currently receive buffs from other players.

• Trying to Buff Someone who's in Hardcore

That player is in Hardcore mode, and cannot receive buffs from other players.

• Trying to Buff Jick

Hi -- thanks for trying to buff me, but I don't really need it.

- Jick

• Trying to Buff Multi Czar

The Multi Czar cannot be buffed. The reason why is undoubtedly very amusing.

• Trying to Buff Mr Skullhead

Can't buff Mr. Skullhead. Your buff slides right off the skull, you see.

• Trying to Buff Devster1, Devster2, Devster3, Devster4, or Devster5

You cannot buff the Devsters.

• Trying to Buff Xenophobe

Xenophobe doesn't want your buff.

[edit] Receiving Buffs

• Getting a shell or sphere buff

<datetime> - A <buff> has been conjured around you by <player>

• Getting a song buff

<datetime> - <player> has played a song (<song>) for you.

• Getting Empathy of the Newt

<datetime> - <player> has fortified you with the Empathy of the Newt.

• Getting Tenacity of the Snapper

<datetime> - <player> has given you the Tenacity of the Snapper.

• Getting Reptilian Fortitude

<datetime> - <player> has imbued you with Reptilian Fortitude.

[edit] Campsite Closet

• Trying to put a blank amount of meat into your closet

I'm going to assume you meant (amount that you have).

You put (amount that you have) Meat in your closet.

• Trying to put an invalid amount of meat into your closet

I'm going to assume you meant (amount that you have).

Whoops, you don't have (however much you tried to put) Meat in your inventory to transfer.

• Trying to take an invalid amount of meat from your closet

I'm going to assume you meant (amount of meat in your closet).

You take (amount of meat in your closet) Meat out of your closet.

[edit] Individual

• Adding Yourself as a Friend

It's good to like yourself, but putting yourself on your contact list is kind of Narcissistic, don't you think?

• Baleeting Yourself

You can't ignore yourself, no matter how hard you try.

• Trading with Yourself

You juggle some of your items and Meat for a minute -- now you don't need to arrange an elaborate trade with yourself!

• PvPing Yourself

You know, once you start hurting yourself, you won't be able to stop, and you'll end up working for James Spader as a secretary, and constantly letting him spank you. Let's not start down that road.

• Not Donating Enough Meat at the Hall of Legends

That's not enough Meat to make a proper offering.

• Sending Yourself A Gift

There's no point in sending a package to yourself, given that, y'know, you'll already know what's inside it.

• Trying To Change Your Name Under "Change Capitalization"

You can only change the capitalization, not the name.

• Changing Your Time Zone

Time zone updated. Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?

[edit] Inventory

• Using an Item You Don't Have

You don't have the item you're trying to use. Cheater.

• Zapping an Item You Don't Have

You don't have the item you're trying to zap.

• Saving a Custom Outfit Without Specifying A Name

Your outfit must have a first name. Whether it's O S C A R or not is your business.

• Trying to put on a custom outfit without enough of an item

Unable to equip "{outfit name}", insufficient {plural item name} in inventory! ({#} needed, {#} found.)

• Unequipping an Item that Increases Song Capacity

<Song> doesn't appear to be stuck in your head any more. Stupid earworms.

<Song> doesn't appear to be stuck in your head any more. Strange.

<Song> doesn't appear to be stuck in your head any more. That's odd...

<Song> doesn't appear to be stuck in your head any more. Interesting.

[edit] Skills

• Buffing Yourself or Someone Else Without Enough MP

You don't have enough Mana Points to use that skill that many times.

• Using a Skill You Have Not Learned

You don't have that skill.

• Using a Skill Without Selecting One

No such skill.

• Attempting to Cast Flavour of Magic Directly (via remote form submission)

That doesn't make any sense. Also, congratulations for wasting MP.

[edit] Clan

• Attempting to Put Less Than One Meat or Text in Your Clan Coffers

Don't be a jackass.

• Attempting to Put Letters in Your Clan Stash

The 31337 h4X0r smiles on you for your gallant try. You gain 1 Eliteness. Too bad nobody's counting.

• Attempting To Create A Clan With No Name Or Credo

How can you form a clan with no credo? Don't you stand for anything?

• Attempting To Post A Blank Message

Don't post messages with no content, or Mr. Gerf will come out of your closet and eat you.

• Attempting To Post A Blank Thread

You can't post without something to say! This isn't network television, y'know.

• Attempting To Post A Blank Clan Announcement

Don't post blank announcements. It makes Baby Mr. Gerf cry.

• Attempting to Apply to Your Current Clan

You can't apply to a clan you're already in. They might decline your application by mistake, and then you'd all feel awkward at your next clan function.

• Attempting to Work Out in the Clan Gym for Less Than One Adventure

You don't have a time machine.

• Trying to Add an Item to the Hoard Without Selecting an Item

You did not select any items to add to the Hoard.

• Trying to Take Nothing from the Hoard

That doesn't make sense.

• Trying to Withdraw a zero-karma item without the ability to do so

You cannot take zero karma items from the stash.

• Trying to add something to the stash that you cannot add (eg quest item, or you don't have it)

You didn't actually have any of the items you selected. Tsk, tsk.

• Trying to rest on A Comfy Sofa in a clan that doesn't have a sofa

You try to rest on the sofa, but there's no sofa there, so you just fall onto the floor and hurt your head.

You lose 5 hit points.

[edit] Stores

• Attempting to Buy an Item from an NPC Store Without Actually Specifying What You Want to Buy

Remember that time when you tried to buy something without actually specifying what you wanted to buy? That was awesome.

• Attempting to Buy an Item from an NPC store For Values of Zero or Less

That isn't a reasonable number in this context. Thanks for trying, though.

• Attempting to Buy an Item from an NPC store When the Item is not Stocked by that Store

This store doesn't sell that item. Cheater.

• Attempting to buy an item without selecting an item

No item was selected, Mr. "I Don't Have to Select an Item."

• Managing your store when you have no items to sell

You have no sellable items in your inventory. They say that one is the loneliest number you'll ever do, but, actually, it's zero.

• Attempting to put a non eligible item in the mall

None of the items you selected were eligible for sale in the mall. Tsk tsk.

[edit] Trophy Hut

• Trying to buy a trophy not available to you (including non-existant), or without selecting one

You don't meet the requirements for that trophy.

• Trying to buy a trophy without enough meat

You can't afford to have a trophy installed.

[edit] Traveling Trader

• Attempting to trade with the Traveling Trader for an item he doesn't have or not picking an item to trade

The trader is not trading for that item.

• Attempting to trade for zero of an item

You can't trade for that many <item plural>.

• Attempting to trade for a negative amount of an item (trade works as if the amount was positive)

You make a trade with the mysterious trader.

• Attempting to trade for more than you can pay for

You don't have enough twinkly wads to trade for that many <item plural>.

[edit] Adventuring

• Going to a place that you can't go anymore (generic)

You shouldn't be here.

• Going on The Road to the White Citadel after finding The White Citadel

You've already found the Citadel.

• Going to The Spectral Pickle Factory after it's left

The Factory has faded back into the spectral mists, and eldritch vapors and such.

• Trying to mine after you've taken off the outfit

You can't mine without the proper equipment.

• Trying to adventure in a drunken stupor while sober

You can't adventure in a stupor unless you're actually in a stupor. Which you aren't.

• Trying to adventure in an invalid time period (Crimboween)

No way, yo.

• Going to Fernswarthy's basement while beaten up

You're too beaten up to accomplish anything in the basement. Unless bleeding counts as an accomplishment.

• Trying to adventure in McMillicancuddy's Farm (after finishing the Mysterious Island Quest) after killing 10 or 15 ducks that day

You wander around the farm for a while, but can't find any additional ducks to fight. Maybe some more will come out of hiding by tomorrow.

• Visiting the Mysterious Island Arena after defeating BOTH armies during the Mysterious Island Quest

The stage at the Mysterious Island Arena is empty.

• Clicking a (non-battle) link during a battle

You twiddle your thumbs.

• Attempting to adventure while at zero HP

You're way to beaten up to adventure here. Go rest at your campsite first.

• Getting HP reduced to zero during combat

You lose. You slink away, dejected and defeated.

• Trying to go to the mirror-shard step of the chamber without first passing the doors

Invalid step.

• Trying to view the Wine Cellar Glyphs without Lord Spookyraven's spectacles:

There's nothing interesting to look at here.

[edit] Cooking

• Attempting to cook a specific number of dishes without a chef-in-the-box or enough adventures (even if recipe would not work)

You don't have that many adventures left. It takes time to cook stuff, man.

• Attempting to "make as many as possible" with no chef-in-the-box, or any adventures left (even if recipe would not work)

That's not a number that makes any sense in this context.

• Attempting to cook together two things that don't make a food item

Those two items don't combine to make anything tasty.

• Attempting to cook more than you have (even if recipe would not work)

You don't have enough of one of the necessary items to make that dish.

• Attempting to cook an item with itself (even if the recipe would not work)

You don't have enough of those.

[edit] Drink Mixing

• Attempting to mix together two items that don't make a drink

Those two items don't combine to make a refreshing cocktail.

• Attempting to mix an item with itself (even if the recipe would not work)

You don't have enough of those.

• Attempting to mix with no adventures left for the day

You don't have that many adventures left. It takes time to make a good cocktail, man.

[edit] Meat Pasting

• Attempting to create an invalid number of meat pastes when you have none

That doesn't make any sense, pardner. Neither does the fact that I just called you "pardner."

• Attempting to make more of an item than you have parts or paste (even if the combo would not work)

You don't have enough of one of the necessary items to make that combination.

• Attempting to combine an item with itself (even if the combo would not work)

You've only got one of those.

• Attempting to combine a pair of items that don't make anything

Those two items don't combine to make anything interesting.

• Successful pasting

The meat paste fuses your items together.

{item image} You acquire an item: {item name}

[edit] Using Items Wrongly

• Attempting to use the time sleigh to go somewhere other than a preset

Invalid setting. There are only three options, jeez.

• Attempting to use disintegrating sheet music on an invalid player

That player could not be found. Confound it.

• Trying to unequip familiar equipment that is not equipped to that familiar

You either don't have a familiar of that type, or the familiar you selected isn't actually using any equipment right now. Hooray for vague error messages!

• Trying to equip an outfit that doesn't exist

That set isn't implemented yet.

• Attempting to use a custom outfit that contains an item not usable in hardcore while in hardcore

This outfit contains an item which is not equippable in hardcore. Nice try, though.

• Trying to eat a non-food item

That's not something you can eat.

• Trying to drink a non-drunkenness item

That's not booze.

• Using something that is not usable

This item is not implemented yet. Try again later.

• Trying to pulverize something not smashable

That's not something you can pulverize.

• Trying to use a Yeti Protest Sign with no adventures left

You don't have time to protest.

[edit] The Crackpot Mystic's Shed

• Clicking one of the response buttons when you have already been given the continuum transfunctioner

The crackpot looks at you strangely. Eh? What? Huh?

[edit] Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage

• Visiting Hagnk's when you have no items there

Hagnk doesn't have any of your stuff.

• Visiting Hagnk's when you have no meat there

Hagnk doesn't have any of your meat.

• Taking all your stuff out of Hagnk's

Hagnk leans back and yells something ugnigntelligible to a group of Knob Goblin teegnage delignquegnts, who go and grab all of your stuff from storage and bring it to you.

• Trying to take all from Hagnk's when you have nothing there

Hagnk doesn't have any of your stuff.

• Trying to take all from Hagnk's when you are in ronin or hardcore

The 31337 H4X0r smiles upon you. You gain 3 Eliteness. Too bad nobody's counting.

[edit] Guild Hall

• Trying to train for a non-existent skill

Invalid skill selected.

• Trying to train for a skill you already have

You've already got that skill.

• Trying to access The Malus of Forethought in a non-muscle class

Not here.

• Trying to access The Wok of Ages in a non-myst class

What wok are you tokking about?

• Trying to access Nash Crosby's Still in a non-moxie class

There's still no still here, so be still.

[edit] Other

• Trying to smash an item that is not smashable

Naughty, Naughty.

• Clicking on an automatic System Message in chat

You clicked on a System Message. System Messages are messages that The System sends out into the chat when it has something very important to say.

• Trying to go to various places after entering the gash

You are currently in a non-corporeal state, and cannot interact with the real Kingdom.

• Trying to set The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device, The Annoy-o-Tron 5000, or detuned radio to a value outside of their normal ranges.

Invalid dial setting. You invalid dial setter, you. Hey, we just got a new dog! It's an Invalid Dial Setter!

• Trying to use negative, zero, or non-numeric adventures at The Institute for Canadian Studies

That doesn't make any sense, you hoser.

• Trying to take out or put in non-existent items from or into the closet

The 31337 H4X0r smiles upon you. You gain 1 Eliteness. Too bad nobody's counting.

• Reaching the bottom of The Daily Dungeon

You have reached the bottom of today's Dungeon. Come back tomorrow for further adventuring goodness.

• Trying to buy items from certain stores that they don't have.

We don't sell that item. Cheater.

• Trying to adventure in a combat zone after having banished every monster

Couldn't find an appropriate monster in the zone. Exiting.

[edit] Yellow Exclamation Points!

Upon logging in one of the following messages will be displayed hinting as for what to do next:

• Prior to visiting the Toot Oriole

Welcome to the Kingdom of Loathing!

You should go see the Toot Oriole, on Mt. Noob in The Big Mountains.

• When a quest is available at the Council of Loathing

You should go see the Council of Loathing in Seaside Town.

• When a quest is available at the The Brotherhood of the Smackdown

You should go talk to the people in Brotherhood of the Smackdown, on the Right Side of the Tracks.

• When a quest is available at The League of Chef-Magi

You should go talk to the people in League of Chef-Magi, on the Right Side of the Tracks.

• When a quest is available at The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts

You should go talk to the people in Department of Shadowy Arts and Craft, on the Wrong Side of the Tracks.

• With a quest unfinished in the Quest Log

There's some unfinished business in your Quest Log.

[edit] Bad Logins

• Bad logout of some sort

You did not properly log out last time you logged in. You will have to wait a minute (Literally, like, one minute. Sixty seconds.) before you can log in again.

• Logging too soon after a failure

Too many login attempts in too short a span of time. Please wait a minute (Literally, like, one minute. Sixty seconds.) and try again.

• Trying to login with a old cached page

Invalid challenge.

[edit] References

• Not saying what you want to buy in an NPC store but trying anyway is a reference to SNL, where Chris Farley (as himself) would interview the celebrity guest of the night and say "Remember that time when you ______? That was awesome."
• James Spader starred in the 2002 movie Secretary, which features a similar sort of relationship.
• The message about naming your outfit is a reference to the "Oscar Mayer Bologna Song" advertising jingle: "My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R."
• The store message about zero being the loneliest number references the song "One" by Harry Nilsson.
• "Yellow Exclamation Points!" references RPGs such as Diablo II and World of Warcraft, where NPCs who give quests have yellow exclamation points above their heads.