|Locations||Random locations during April Fool's Day 2012|
|Hit Points||defense*0.75, rounded down|
|Attack||Scaling at Moxie-3+ML, capped at 50+ML|
|Defense||Scaling at Muscle-3+ML, capped at 50+ML|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
When The Humorless Ones are preparing for invasion, they don't send in the clowns -- clowns make noise. For reconnaissance work, they turn to the inhabitants of the Silent Zones. The mimes.
As you approach hesitantly, the figure straightens from an insect-like crouch into an approximation of human posture. Even the light seems to hesitate to be near it -- the rail-thin creature casts four long black shadows that writhe and twist like smoke.
Its cold, emotionless eyes lock onto yours, and you are chilled by the sudden suspicion that its chalk-white face is not greasepaint, but rather it's the facial features -- the nose, the staring eyes, the black lips -- that are false, painted onto a head as smooth and white as a hard-boiled egg.
If you survive, you hope to eventually stop shuddering.
The mime summons invisible demons from Hey Deze to rend your flesh. It's a pretty complicated and convoluted set of gestures, and honestly you're surprised you were able to figure it out. You wish you hadn't. Ooh! Ooh! Argh!
The creature pulls on an invisible rope, and you stumble, dragged forward by some irresistable unseen force. Right into range of the thin black claws. Ooh! Oof! Eek!
The mime whips an invisible rapier from its waist, and gestures at you. Bloody slashes suddenly appear across your arms and chest, like lipless mouths gaping open in surprise. Ugh! Ugh! Ooh!
The creature's movents suddenly become rigid and jerky, as though it were some sort of clockwork automaton. The new rhythm and slowness in its movements leave you unprepared for the invisible buzzsaw. Oof! Ooh! Ow!
It takes you a moment to figure out the mime's gestures. It's holding something out, thrusting with it, the other hand making quick snapping motions... you hazard a guess: "Lion tameAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Oof! Oof! Ooh!
The mime angrily pounds at the wall of an invisible prison, for some reason unable to attack you.
The creature slowly pantomimes taking an invisible banana out of an invisible lunch bag, eating it, and dropping the peel on the ground. At least, you think it's a banana. You hope it's a banana.
The mime aims down the barrel of an invisible rifle. A tiny red dot crawls from your stomach to your chest and upward to your head. You dive to the ground a split-second before you sense (but don't actually hear) the crack of the gunshot.
The creature gestures wildly, but you can't make heads or tails of the charade. It looks frustrated as you shrug helplessly at it.
The mime struggles to reach you, but some fierce wind, felt only by it, prevents the creature from getting in range. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: mime soul fragment (100% chance)*|
|You gain ? <substat>.|
- Initially foreshadowed (four-shadowed?) a future event.
- The first time they appeared, these were wandering monsters, overriding adventures in most zones every 25–35 adventures. Like other such monsters, they could be encountered while falling-down drunk, and could override clover adventures.
- During the Silent Invasion, they appeared in the "Go left, toward the coldness" option of Behind the door there is a fog, after encountering Get Any Key to Continue. The battle intro text changed to:
- You drift toward the coldness in the fog, and as gravity returns you find yourself in... not a room, exactly, but something like a room. More specifically, something like a room filled with angry mimes.
- One of them notices you, and he doesn't need to speak to express himself -- he very clearly believes that you do not belong here.
- The mime soul fragment is pickpocketable.
- Four-shadowed mimes could be encountered for the first few hours of April Fools Day 2013, but this was an error and subsequently corrected.