Filthy hippy Vegan chef

He pokes you right in the <nipple> with a raw carrot. It really hurts, but at least you won't lose your night vision. Argh! Ugh! (stench damage)

He pummels you with a barrage of raw horseradish. Man, wasabi with that? Eek! Eek! (stench damage)

He gives you something to cry about -- a raw, sliced onion. Your vision blurred by tears, you stagger into a nearby tree. Ugh! Oof!

He pelts you with tomatoes. They don't hurt much, but the radio wire embedded in them certainly does. Ow! Ow! (stench damage)

He takes a deep breath and exhales at you. He has the kind of breath you can only get by eating raw onion, horseradish, garlic, and asparagus. You black out for a few seconds and wake up woozy. Oof! Ooh! Ow! (stench damage)

He tries to poke you in the <nipple> with a raw carrot, but you slice off the end before it penetrates you.

He tries to poke you in the <nipple> with his salad-tossing fork, but you'll have none of that funny business.

He gives you something to cry about -- a raw, sliced onion. Fortunately, you counter with some spilled milk and manage not to cry.

He starts to pelt you with tomatoes, but can't decide how to pronounce it, and decides to call the whole thing off.

He starts to slice more onion-missiles to throw at you. You say, "Have you heard that vegetables actually scream when they're cut?" He stops chopping and breaks into tears.