Evil spaghetti cult middle-manager

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Evil spaghetti cult middle-manager
Monster ID 806
Locations The Temple Portico
Hit Points 175
Attack 150
Defense 135
Initiative 80
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
spaghetti cult mask, spaghetti cult rosary
Quest crystal orb of spirit wrangling, cult memo
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
evil spaghetti cult middle-manager You're fighting an evil spaghetti cult middle-manager

When you think of evil cultists, you probably think either of the high priest who tears the still-beating heart out of the sacrifice's torso, or the huge crowds of guys standing in the background chanting to "O Fortuna". Obviously, though, you also need some guys to schedule the event, make sure the chanters know their lines, and file the paperwork afterwards. This is one of those guys, and frankly they're among the most evil of the bunch. How much of a surprise this is to you is determined by how much time you've ever spent sitting in a cubicle.

Hit Message(s):

He asks if you're workin' hard or hardly workin', then kicks you in the shin when you don't laugh. Oof! Ugh! Eek!

He fastens a binder clip on your <forehead>. Yeowch! Ugh! Ooh! Eek!

He makes you fill out a requisition form to get a new ballpoint pen, then stabs you in the <nipple> with it. Eek! Argh! Oof!

He says today isn't casual Friday, and puts a tie on you. Then he strangles you with it. Oof! Ouch! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

He buries you beneath a mountain of paperwork. No, I mean literally. You suffocate and get a dozen papercuts. Eek! Ouch! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He asks if you're workin' hard or hardly workin'. You chuckle.

He tries to fasten binder clips to you, But you decline to be clipped.

He wants to stab you with a ballpoint pen, but has to fill out a form to requisition one.

He accuses you of having a "case of the Mondays."

Fumble Message:

He tries to bury you beneath a mountain of paperwork, but you fold it into origami cranes. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Spiritorb.gifYou acquire an item: crystal orb of spirit wrangling
Document thumb.gifYou acquire an item: cult memo (100% chance)*
Spagmask.gifYou acquire an item: spaghetti cult mask
Spagrosary.gifYou acquire an item: spaghetti cult rosary
Spagrobe.gifYou acquire an item: spaghetti cult robe (100.0% chance)*

Occurs in The Temple Portico.

Notes

References