Erudite gremlin
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting an erudite gremlinThis gremlin appears to have gone through some sort of genetic mutation that dramatically increased its intelligence. Sadly, the mutation did nothing for its looks -- it's still a slimy, mottled-green thing with a mouthful of fangs. It looks up at you, croaks "I...wanna...." and then begins speaking in a perfectly enunciated, mellifluous baritone. "I want to talk about what's going on in this junkyard," it says. "It seems that you are intent on engaging in some sort of altercation with me. While I am normally a pacifist, intellectual creature, I must confess that on some level I would really like to eviscerate, decapitate, and quite possibly defenestrate you."
Hit Message(s):
He tries to harm you with words, but when that doesn't work he resorts to sticks and stones, which work as advertised. Ow! Oof!
His witty verbal barbs don't hurt you, but the serrated barbs on his claws certainly do. Ooh! Ouch! Eek! Eek!
He uses the random junk around him to make an automatic eyeball-peeler, then uses it on you. Gah! Aiee! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow!
He formulates a working theory of transmutation of matter, and uses that information to chomp on your eye, head, and throat simultaneously. Ow! Ooh! Oof! Eek!
He delivers a string of pithy, withering, witty, and expertly-crafted insults. Ow! Your feelings! Ooh! Eek! Ooh! Oof!
He whips out a crescent wrench from somewhere, places it on your finger, and carefully calibrates how tightly he has to adjust it to make you scream bloody murder. Oof! Argh! Eek! Ow!
 | You gain 40-60 Meat. |
If Yossarian's quest was completed as a War Frat
If Yossarian's quest was completed as a War Hippy
Occurs at The Junkyard.
Notes
References
- A character almost exactly like this one appears in the movie Gremlins 2, and his first line is very similar to the above quote.
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