Elders of the Gentle Race
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting the Elders of the Gentle RaceYou see a group of old men standing in front of you. "Greetings," one says. "We're the elders of the gentle race. We gently request that you get off our lawn, whippersnapper."
You look down at your feet. There's no grass growing on this part of the astral plane. "Um... I don't think I'm on your lawn," you say.
"That's it," the elder replies. "We're going to have to gently beat the snot out of you, you young punk."
Hit Message(s):
They tell you a story so boring it makes your <bung> hurt. It's kind of interesting, though, that candy bars used to only cost one cent. Ooh! Ouch! Argh!
They gently assault you with a collection of canes and walkers. You feel caned and walked all over. Ouch! Eek! Argh!
They gently pummel you with their liver-spotted hands. It doesn't hurt, but it's creepy. Ooh! Oof! Oof! (sleaze damage)
Critical Hit Message:
They beat down on your face like the sun until you're seeing stars. In your dream. Ouch! Ow! Ow!
Miss Message(s):
They start telling you a really boring story, but you quickly make an excuse and dart out of sight.
They gently smack you with their canes. It doesn't really hurt.
They gently pummel you with their liver-spotted fists. You barely notice they're doing it.
Fumble Message:
They get into a spirited discussion about how much better things were in the old days in Kashmir, and forget all about you for a moment.
Occurs during the Great Trip.
[edit] References
- The name of the adventure comes from the lyrics of the popular Led Zeppelin song Kashmir. The critical hit and fumble messages also reference this song. The relevant lyrics are:
- Oh let the sun beat down upon my face
- And stars fill my dreams...
- To sit with elders of the gentle race...
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