Dyspepsi-Cola Soldier
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a Dyspepsi-Cola SoldierAs you make your way across the battlefield, you are spotted by one of the blue-shirted Dyspepsi-Cola soldiers. He charges at you, shouting "Gotta have it!" Before you can ask "Gotta have what?", he attempts to skewer you with his sword.
Hit Message(s):
He belches a hideous belch at you. You feel faint. Ooh! Eek! Argh!
With all the alacrity that caffeine and sugar can provide, he swings his sword and catches you in the <knee>. Oof! Oof! Argh!
He hits you with a blow so hard, it makes your teeth hurt. Argh! Eek! Oof!
Critical Hit Message:
He runs up to you and puts a can of soda in your pocket. "Thanks," you say, but after a second it becomes obvious that the can of soda was actually a grenade. Point blank grenade action, man. Ouch. Ugh! Ugh! Ooh!
Miss Message(s):
He belches at you, but you belch right back. High comedy!
He starts to attack, but gets a migraine from overdosing on caffeine.
He starts to attack you, but you tell him what "dyspepsia" means, and he's momentarily distracted.
Fumble Message:
He tosses a cola grenade at you, but you convince a nearby Cloaca-Cola soldier to throw himself on it. What a sucke... I mean... hero. What a hero.
Occurs at A Battlefield (in Cloaca-Cola Uniform).
References
- Dyspepsi-Cola is a reference to Pepsi Cola
- "Gotta Have It" was a slogan for Pepsi during the real-life Cola Wars
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