Dweebie

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Dweebie
Monster ID 1355
Locations The Hallowed Halls
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie
Defense Player's Muscle
Initiative 20
Meat 32-48
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso, inhaler, wedgied butt
Drops
Ogres and Oubliettes™ module, Mountain Stream Code Black Alert, slide rule, folder (Yedi)
Manuel Dweebisol™ inhaler
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
dweebie You're fighting a dweebie

There's your average, run-of-the-mill nerd (or run-of-the-grinding-low-levels-in-the-MMO nerd), and then there's the dweeb. Nerds are totally hip and trendy and sexy right now, but dweebs are still dweebs. A cool kid can wear high-water pants, thick glasses, a bow tie, suspenders, a pocket protector, and have greasy stringy hair and somehow look even cooler, but a dweeb just looks...well...dweeby.

Hit Message(s):

He nerdslaps you. It's a little painful and a lot humliating. Ugh!

He slashes you with his protractor. You're decidedly anti-protractor now. Ugh!

He pops one of his pimples at you. Ugh. Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He pinches your <arm> in his slide rule. What is that thing even for? Ugh!

He sprays you in the face with his inhaler. It burns! Ugh!

He uses some crazy complicated weapon from a fantasy movie to carve runes on your <giblets>. Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He gets into an argument with his nerd friends about whether Krakrox could beat up Lars the Cyberian. You assert that Lars would kick the crap out of Krakrox (quite rightly), and get nerdslapped into oblivion. Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to nerdslap you, but you easily dodge.

He tries to slash you with his protractor, but you counter with your antitractor.

He tries to pop a pimple at you, but you dodge.

He tries to pinch you with a slide rule, but even he can't figure how to work it.

He tries to spray you with his inhaler, but has to use it on himself first.

He tries to cut you with a complicated sword from a fantasy movie, but learns it's only a prop and about as sharp as a thumb.

Fumble Message:

He hears that a new bootleg of a Distant Lands cartoon from thirty years ago is for sale in the flea market, and runs off to buy it before any of his nerd friends can get it. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 32-48 Meat. (average: 40, stdev: 3.65)*
Sliderule.gifYou acquire an item: slide rule (5% chance)*
Oandomodule.gifYou acquire an item: Ogres and Oubliettes™ module (15% chance)*
Soda.gifYou acquire an item: Mountain Stream Code Black Alert (15% chance)*
Folder1.gifYou acquire an item: folder (Yedi) (10% chance)*

Occurs at The Hallowed Halls.

Notes