Drab Bard
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a Drab BardThis bard plays music that's so boring you just want to... zzzzzz... Oh, sorry, what was I talking about?
Hit Message(s):
He plays the drum solo from Innagaddadavida. On a guitar. You fall asleep and bonk your <skull> on a rock. Ugh! Eek!
He plays a boring tune, ending with lazily smashing his guitar over your <skull>. Ow! Ow!
He does an acoustic, extra-long cover of "Stairway to Heaven." You doze off and smack your <skull> on a rock. Oof! Ugh!
He does an extra-long, slow, and boring cover of "Stairway to Heaven." You get bored, wander off, and stub your toe on a rock. Ouch! Ugh!
Critical Hit Message:
He plays several bad, drab sonatas. You wish he would play some lever revels instead - those are always entertaining. But he keeps playing music that puts you to sleep, and you keep falling over and hitting your head on things. Oof! Ooh! Ooh!
Miss Message(s):
He plays the world's most boring music, but you're a big fan of Pink Floyd so you've built up immunity.
He plays a boring tune, but you whistle a jaunty one to overcome it.
He starts to play "Stairway to Heaven." You remember your old mentor's advice: "In case of Stairway, use fire." You singe him with a fireball.
He starts to play a slow, boring version of "Stairway to Heaven," but you produce a sign that says "No Stairway... DENIED!"
Fumble Message:
He finishes the opposite of a rousing rendition of "Quietly Not Waking the Baby," which is so boring that he actually puts himself to sleep. He falls over and starts snoring gently.
 | You gain 66-96 Meat. |
Occurs at The Palindome.
References
- In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida is a song by the band Iron Butterfly. The song is seventeen minutes long and features an extended drum solo.
- The fact that this monster drops olives is a reference to a piece of legacy Army terminology. The basic dull green color that most army equipment was painted was called olive drab green.
- In Wayne's World, Wayne attempts to start playing Stairway to Heaven in a guitar store, but a store employee shows him a sign saying "No Stairway." This causes Wayne to turn to the camera and say "No Stairway! Denied!"
- One of the attack messages may refer to classic rock group The Who, who were notorious for smashing their guitars at the end of their acts.
- The advice "In case of Stairway, use fire" is a chiasmus of the sign in or near elevators which reads "USE STAIRS IN CASE OF FIRE."
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