| Today is Dependence Day!|
Go get some fireworks at the Market, and celebrate!
"Under the benevolent reign of King Ralph III, peace had reigned in the Kingdom for decades. The peasants prospered and became middle class, the middle class prospered and became wealthy, and the wealthy voluntarily gave all of their wealth to charity and became peasants. The cycle of wealth re-distribution was overseen by King Ralph's noble royal army, who facilitated all the exchanges and collected a modest pittance for the royal coffers. Unlike other extravagant monarchs, Ralph had only one solid-chrome swimming pool, and his vault full of meat was barely full enough for wading, let alone full-on bathing.
So all was well in the Kingdom, until a malcontent by the name of Frank Vivala began agitating for revolution. Vivala, it is widely believed, was jealous because King Ralph was more handsome than he was; in addition, Vivala may have also been suffering some sort of degenerative mental disease brought on by sexual promiscuity. In any case, Vivala claimed it was unfair for the King to collect taxes without letting the general populace have a say in how the country was governed. Apparently in addition to his other flaws, Vivala was unclear on the definition of the word "monarchy."
Despite King Ralph's repeated requests for him to knock it off and act reasonably, Vivala rounded up a rag-tag band of insurrectionists and engaged in a few acts of domestic terrorism, most notably dumping an entire shipment of herbal tea into the harbor. The peaceful, tea-loving denizens of the Kingdom were outraged, and pressured the normally peaceful and diplomatic King to put a stop to the rebellion.
On Bor the 4th in the second year of the Blender of the reign of King Ralph the III, the royal army soundly defeated Vivala's annoying and ill-mannered revolution. Vivala escaped into the mountains to live a solitary life of reflection, his band of terrorists thoroughly routed.
Thereafter, on every 4th of Bor the citizens of Loathing light fireworks and celebrate how wonderful it is to have a King who cares about them and takes care of the boring business of keeping things running smoothly. The celebration is commonly known as Dependence Day. With King Ralph XI imprismed, it's more important than ever to make merry on Bor the 4th, unless you're some kind of treacherous Vivala sympathizer."
- Dependence Day I: June 7, 2007 (Bor 4, Year 17)
- Dependence Day II: July 5, 2007 (Porktober 8, Year 17)
- Dependence Day III: September 11, 2007 (Bor 4, Year 18)
- Dependence Day IV: December 16, 2007 (Bor 4, Year 19)
- Dependence Day V: March 21, 2008 (Bor 4, Year 20)
- Dependence Day VI: June 25, 2008 (Bor 4, Year 21)
- Dependence Day VII: July 4, 2008 (Petember 5, Year 21)
- Dependence Day VIII: September 29, 2008 (Bor 4, Year 22)
- Dependence Day IX: January 3, 2009 (Bor 4, Year 23)
- Dependence Day X: April 1, 2009 (Bill 4, Year 24)
- Dependence Day XI: April 9, 2009 (Bor 4, Year 24)
- Dependence Day XII: July 14, 2009 (Bor 4, Year 25)
- Dependence Day XIII: October 18, 2009 (Bor 4, Year 26)
- Dependence Day XIV: January 22, 2010 (Bor 4, Year 27)
- Dependence Day XV: April 28, 2010 (Bor 4, Year 28)
- Dependence Day XVI: July 4, 2010 (Starch 7, Year 29)
- Dependence Day XVII: August 2, 2010 (Bor 4, Year 29)
- Dependence Day XVIII: November 6, 2010 (Bor 4, Year 30)
- Dependence Day XIX: February 10, 2011 (Bor 4, Year 31)
- Dependence Day XX: May 17, 2011 (Bor 4, Year 32)
- Dependence Day XXI: August 21, 2011 (Bor 4, Year 33)
- Dependence Day XXII: November 25, 2011 (Bor 4, Year 34)
- Dependence Day XXIII: February 29, 2012 (Bor 4, Year 35)
- Dependence Day XXIV: June 4, 2012 (Bor 4, Year 36)
- Dependence Day XXV: July 4, 2012 (Boozember 2, Year 36)
- Dependence Day XXVI: September 8, 2012 (Bor 4, Year 37)
- Dependence Day XXVII: December 13, 2012 (Bor 4, Year 38)
- Dependence Day XXVIII: March 19, 2013 (Bor 4, Year 39)
- Dependence Day XXIX: June 23, 2013 (Bor 4, Year 40)
- Dependence Day XXX: July 4, 2013 (Petember 7, Year 40)
- Dependence Day XXXI: September 27, 2013 (Bor 4, Year 41)
- Dependence Day XXXII: January 1, 2014 (Bor 4, Year 42)
- Dependence Day XXXIII: April 7, 2014 (Bor 4, Year 43)
- Dependence Day XXXIV: July 4, 2014 (Bill 4, Year 44)
- Dependence Day XXXV: July 12, 2014 (Bor 4, Year 44)
- Dependence Day XXXVI: October 16, 2014 (Bor 4, Year 45)
- Dependence Day XXXVII: January 20, 2015 (Bor 4, Year 46)
- Dependence Day XXXVIII: April 26, 2015 (Bor 4, Year 47)
- Dependence Day XXXIX: July 4, 2015 (April 1, Year 48)
- Dependence Day XL: July 31, 2015 (Bor 4, Year 48)
- Dependence Day XLI: November 4, 2015 (Bor 4, Year 49)
- Dependence Day XLII: February 8, 2016 (Bor 4, Year 50)
- Dependence Day XLIII: May 14, 2016 (Bor 4, Year 51)
- Dependence Day XLIV: July 4, 2016 (Jarlsuary 7, Year 52)
- Dependence Day XLV: August 18, 2016 (Bor 4, Year 52)
- Dependence Day XLVI: November 22, 2016 (Bor 4, Year 53)
- Dependence Day XLVII: February 26, 2017 (Bor 4, Year 54)
- Dependence Day XLVIII: June 2, 2017 (Bor 4, Year 55)
- Dependence Day XLIX: July 4, 2017 (Boozember 4, Year 55)
- Dependence Day L: September 6, 2017 (Bor 4, Year 56)
- Dependence Day (next): December 11, 2017 (predicted)
At The Market, you may buy fireworks for 300 Meat each:
|Firework||Effect (50 Adventures)|
|M-242||Adrenaline Rush||Muscle +100%|
|snake||Sneaky Serpentine Subtlety||Moxie +100%|
|sparkler||Sparkling Consciousness||Mysticality +100%|
- You can only use one firework every Dependence day, even after the old effect has worn off. Attempting to use a second firework within the same ascension (but after the first firework's effect has ended) yields the message "You've already celebrated the Fourth of Bor, and now it's time to get back to work."
- You may use another firework after ascending.
- Attempting to use a firework on any day other than Dependence day yields the message "Sorry, but these particular fireworks are illegal on any day other than the Fourth of Bor. And the law is a worthy institution, and you should respect and obey it, no matter what."
- Dependence Day II also occurred "one day late" for the 4th of July.
- A revolution started by Frank Vivala could be called the Vivala Revolution. This is a pun on the Spanish phrase "Viva La Revolución".
- The reference to Vivala and his followers dumping herbal tea into the harbor is a reference to the Boston Tea Party.
- The "mental disease brought on by sexual promiscuity" is likely to be syphilis. This is most likely a reference to Napoleon Bonaparte, who in 1799 staged a coup d'état and assumed power in France. It is conjectured that he may have died of syphilis.
- The swimming through meat likely references Scrooge McDuck who likes to swim through his gold.
- Bor 4th relates to the real-life American Independence Day, which falls on July 4th. Bor is the 7th month of the KoL year, as July is in the real world, making this holiday equivalent to July 4th in the realm.
- Dependence Day, or "D-Day", was released just after rollover on June 6th, which coincides with the launch of the Battle of Normandy in 1944, also referred to as "D-Day". It should be noted that the 1944 D-Day was slated to launch on June 5 but was delayed due to bad weather. KoL's D-Day would have normally been released Tuesday, June 5th, but was delayed to June 6th to coincide with the 4th of Bor holiday.