Deactivated O. A. F.
This is an O.A.F. -- a robot with the most advanced computer brain known to the Kingdom (though given the previously most advanced computer brain was an abacus, that's not saying much). He's been programmed by the maddest scientists in Cobb's Knob to help you get the most out of every adventure you spend. His useful* advice and carefully calculated** actions will surely make him the best*** familiar for virtually every situation. You'll love him so much you'll want to eat him right up!****
**** - This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. If not satisfied, return the unused portion. For topical use only.
* - Depends on user's definition of "useful."
** - Calculations were double-checked by several Attention Deficit Demons.
*** - Depends on user's definition of "best." May vary from dictionary definition.
Cannot be discarded
(In-game plural: Deactivated O. A. F.s)