Crusty hippy Vegan chef
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a crusty hippy Vegan chefThis is a peace-loving chef from the Vega star system. Not really. The truth is out there, but far less interesting.
Hit Message(s):
He pulls out a phaser and shoots you in the <nipple>. Well, actually he just claws you with his filthy hippy fingernails. Ooh! Ugh! (stench damage)
He does some kind of alien mind-meld with you. Well, actually he just kicks you in the <nipple>. Oof! Eek! (stench damage)
He probes you in the <nipple>. You're not sure if he's an alien or just kinky. Eek! Eek! Ouch! (stench damage)
He clamps his hand on a nerve in your shoulder and you pass out. Well, not so much from the neck pinch as from the smell of close-proximity hippy. Ugh! Ooh! (stench damage)
Critical Hit Message:
He pulls out a bass guitar and starts playing a funky riff. The mothership descends in a beam of pure white light, coming to rest right on top of you. Fortunately, it takes off in time for you to start breathing again. Ooh! Eek! Argh! (stench damage)
Miss Message(s):
He pulls out a phaser and shoots you in the <nipple>. Wait, no he doesn't.
He morphs into his true alien form and engulfs you. Wait, no he doesn't.
He tries to probe you in the ankle, but you distract him with a series of probing questions.
He tries to do an alien neck-pinch on you, but is foiled by your earthling dodging skills.
Fumble Message:
He starts to attack again, but a black car with darkly-tinted windows pulls up behind him. Men in black suits pile out, grab him, and take him into the car. He emerges dazed and bruised a few minutes later.
Occurs at The Hippy Camp.
References
- "The truth is out there" is the tagline to the TV show The X-Files.
- The "phaser", "neck-pinch", and "mind-meld" combat messages are references to the TV show Star Trek.
- The "probe" and "morph" combat messages and the fumble text refer to the 1997 film Men In Black.
- The critical hit message refers to the Parliament album Mothership Connection.
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