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Monster ID
Locations The Elf Resistance Camp
Hit Points 300
Attack 100
Defense 90
Initiative 1000
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, chassis, circuits, head, leg
Crimbomega drive chain
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Crimbomega You're fighting Crimbomega

Angelinadriel pushes a button, and after a massive CRASH, an equally massive robot bursts through the wall of the factory, releasing festive red-and-green clouds of poison gas into the sky. Hmm. Oh well.

The giant robot is heavily armed, and has two faces, as pictured: one big robot face, and one smaller beardy face. Neither of them look happy, but for different reasons -- the robot face looks angry at you for messing with the plans of the Crimbot Collective or whatever they call themselves, and the beardy face (which looks like it might be Uncle Crimbo) looks upset about being locked inside a giant warbot.

Dunno what he's got to complain about, though -- he could be out here having to fight the dang thing. Like you.

Hit Message(s):

The robot shoots you with rapid-fire bursts from its laser arm. At least those piercings you were thinking about getting will be much simpler now. Oof!

The robot blasts you with its laser cannon, which alternagtes[sic] between a red laser and a green one. It's very festive, and very ow. Oof!

The robot stomps on you with one of its giant metal feet. And then with another one, and then with the third one. Oof!

The robot stomps you as flat as a pancake, as demonstrated by Angelinadriel, who keeps a measuring pancake on-hand for evaluating the flatness of things. Oof!

The robot grabs you and crushes you in its giant metal hand. You think you hear a rib crack, and also -- ow! -- your keys are totally poking you! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

You discover what it's like to be caught between an unstoppable force (the robot's fist) and an immovable object (the ground). Oof!

Miss Message(s):

The robot tries to stomp you, but Uncle Crimbo punches some buttons in the cockpit and it dances a festive jig instead.

The robot starts to stomp on you, but Uncle Crimbo messes with the controls, keeping the robot from being able to decide which foot to use.

The robot tries to shoot you with lasers, but Uncle Crimbo messes up its targeting controls, and several elves get shot instead. Whew!

The robot tries to shoot you with its laser arm, but Uncle Crimbo does something with the controls, creating a festive Crimbo light show instead.

The robot grabs you in its giant metal hand, but Uncle Crimbo bangs randomly on the control panel and it gently puts you back down. After not-gently shaking you like a paint mixer.

Fumble Message:

Uncle Crimbo flails randomy[sic] at the controls, and the robot stops attacking and starts singing Crimbo carols instead. The intermission is brief, but gives you enough time to wonder why the heck they locked the guy inside a warbot's control center. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Elves scatter as the giant robot crashes to the ground. You help Uncle Crimbo kick out the cockpit window, and pull him out of the wreckage.

"Thanks, kid," he says.

"Well, thank you," you reply. "If you hadn't been messing with the controls, I might've been in real trouble."

"Yeah, those robots may be super-intelligent, but they're also kind of dumb."

There is a plop nearby as a dead bird falls out of the sky, followed by another, and then a third.

"Oh, for the love of --" Uncle Crimbo says. "You didn't get rid of the poison gas before turning on the robot?" You shrug and look at Angelinadriel, who also shrugs. Uncle Crimbo sighs loudly and rolls his eyes. "All right, that's it. I'm done with technology. None of this crap happened when it was all burlap sock monkeys and hand-carved wooden trains. Even this suit is half-polyester, and it itches and I hate it!" He pulls off his red suit and throws it on the ground in a huff, and you are suddenly immensely grateful for his long white beard.

"Uh," you say, but Uncle Crimbo cuts you off.

"Nope. Don't try and talk me out of it. I'm off to live in the mountains and eat berries, and next year you're getting a whittled stick for Crimbo."

You avert your gaze as he turns around and stomps off, followed by several elves who throw their clothes away gleefully as they skip after him.

Drivechain.gifYou acquire an item: Crimbomega drive chain (100% chance)*
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at The Elf Resistance Camp.


  • Damage dealt to Crimbomega has a hard cap of 51 damage per source and round. However, multiple sources of damage are capped individually, allowing for higher damage to be dealt per round.