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Cost Analysis of Restoring HP and MP

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Description

The page provides a cost analysis of the common ways of restoring HP and MP (omitting dropped items and other inapplicable ways of restoring).

MP Restorers

Source MP Gain Cost Meat per MP Notes
tonic water 30-50 (40 avg) 70 Meat 1.75 Requires access to Nash Crosby's Still, limit 10 per day.
black cherry soda 9-11 (10 avg) 80 Meat 8 Requires access to The Black Market, opens during the level 11 quest.
Knob Goblin seltzer 8-12 (10 avg) 80 Meat 8 Requires access to Laboratory.
Regular Cloaca Cola
Diet Cloaca Cola
Cherry Cloaca Cola 		7-9 (8 avg) 80 Meat 10 Requires access to The White Citadel.
Fizzy Invigorating Tonic (post-quest) Any Amount Varies 12  
Fizzy Invigorating Tonic (pre-quest) Any Amount Varies 17  
soda water 3-5 (4 avg) 70 Meat 17.5  

Magical Mystery Juice

Magical mystery juice costs 100 meat or 95 meat if you are wearing Travoltan trousers. The amount of MP restored equals (1.5 * level) + (4 to 6). Note: If you are farming and using Magical mystery juice you should use this instead of the A Comfy Sofa when you have 333.4 or higher MPA (Meat Per Adventure) however there may be better alternatives at some level.

Level Average MP Gain Meat per MP 5-finger
1 6.5 15.385 14.615
2 8 12.5 11.875
3 9.5 10.526 10
4 11 9.091 8.636
5 12.5 8 7.6
6 14 7.143 6.786
7 15.5 6.452 6.129
8 17 5.882 5.588
9 18.5 5.405 5.135
10 20 5 4.75
11 21.5 4.651 4.524
12 23 4.348 4.13
13 24.5 4.082 3.878
14 26 3.846 3.654
15 27.5 3.636 3.455

HP Restorers

For meat:

Source HP Gain Cost Meat per HP Notes
Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs Full HP 100 Meat 6 @ 16.67 HP needed Requires access to The Smacketeria. Costs 1 spleen.
Curative Nostrum (post-quest) Any Amount Varies 6  
Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment 8-10 (9 avg) 60 Meat 6.67  
Doc Galaktik's Pungent Unguent 3-5 (4 avg) 30 Meat 7.5  
Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm 13-15 (14 avg) 120 Meat 8.571  
Curative Nostrum (pre-quest) Any Amount Varies 10  
Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir 18-20 (19 avg) 240 Meat 12.632  

For MP (last columns apply if you can cast spells with reduced MP):

Source HP Gain Cost MP/HP MP/HP (-1) MP/HP (-2) MP/HP (-3) Notes
Cannelloni CocoonAll HP20 MP -- -- -- -- All HP
Tongue of the Walrus30-40 (35 avg)10 MP 0.286 0.257 0.229 0.2 Cures Beaten Up
Disco Power Nap4012 MP 0.3 0.275 0.25 0.225 Cures various effects
Lasagna Bandages (non-combat)10-306 MP 0.3 .25 .2 .15
Saucy Salve10-154 MP 0.32 0.24 0.16 0.08 Combat-only
Lasagna Bandages (combat) 10-206 MP 0.4 .333 .267 .2
Disco Nap208 MP 0.4 .35 .3 .25 Cures various effects
Tongue of the Otter10-207 MP 0.467 0.4 0.333 0.267 Cures Beaten Up

In order to translate from MP per HP to Meat per HP, multiply Meat per MP by MP per HP.

Also worth noting:

  • Ailment Ointments are more cost-efficient than Disco Nap and Tongue of the Otter if you use soda water and have no modifiers; and they're still more efficient than Tongue of the Otter if you use soda water and only have a -1 MP modifier.
  • Cannelloni Cocoon is the most efficient skill if you need to restore a sufficiently large number of HP. With no modifiers, that number is 70 HP; but with modifiers, that number rises.

Restoring HP by buying MP-restores and healing

MMJ at level 7 (6.67 meat per MP) with no MP cost modifiers
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 20 133.3 1.90 @ 70 HP
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 10 66.7 1.90
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 6 40 1.95
Disco Power Nap 40 40 12 80 2.00
Disco Nap 20 20 8 53.3 2.66
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 7 46.7 3.11
MMJ at level 7 (6.67 meat per MP) with -1 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 19 126.7 1.62 @ 78 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 5 33.3 1.62
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 9 60 1.71
Disco Power Nap 40 40 11 73.3 1.83
Disco Nap 20 20 7 46.7 2.33
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 6 40 2.66
MMJ at level 7 (6.67 meat per MP) with -2 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 18 120 1.30 @ 92 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 4 26.7 1.30
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 8 53.3 1.52
Disco Power Nap 40 40 10 66.7 1.67
Disco Nap 20 20 6 40 2.00
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 5 33.3 2.22
MMJ at level 7 (6.67 meat per MP) with -3 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 17 113.3 0.97 @ 117 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 3 20 0.97
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 7 46.7 1.33
Disco Power Nap 40 40 9 60 1.50
Disco Nap 20 20 5 33.3 1.67
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 4 26.7 1.78

The second most efficient source of MP is Knob Goblin seltzer, available only while wearing the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform.

Seltzer (8 meat per MP) with no MP cost modifiers
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 20 160 2.28 @ 70 HP
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 10 80 2.28
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 6 48 2.34
Disco Power Nap 40 40 12 96 2.40
Disco Nap 20 20 8 64 3.20
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 7 56 3.73
Seltzer (8 meat per MP) with -1 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 19 152 1.95 @ 78 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 5 40 1.95
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 9 72 2.05
Disco Power Nap 40 40 11 88 2.20
Disco Nap 20 20 7 56 2.80
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 6 48 3.23
Seltzer (8 meat per MP) with -2 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 18 144 1.56 @ 92 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 4 32 1.56
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 8 64 1.82
Disco Power Nap 40 40 10 80 2.00
Disco Nap 20 20 6 48 2.40
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 5 40 2.66
Seltzer (8 meat per MP) with -3 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 17 136 1.17 @ 116 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 3 24 1.17
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 7 56 1.60
Disco Power Nap 40 40 9 72 1.80
Disco Nap 20 20 5 40 2.00
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 4 32 2.13

The third best MP restorers are the White Citadel colas (regular, diet or cherry), available upon completion of the White Citadel Quest.

WC Cola (10 meat per MP) with no MP cost modifiers
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 20 200 2.85 @ 70 HP
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 10 100 2.85
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 6 60 2.92
Disco Power Nap 40 40 12 120 3.00
Disco Nap 20 20 8 80 4.00
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 7 70 4.66
WC Cola (10 meat per MP) with -1 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 19 190 2.43 @ 78 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 5 50 2.43
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 9 90 2.57
Disco Power Nap 40 40 11 110 2.75
Disco Nap 20 20 7 70 3.50
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 6 60 4.00
WC Cola (10 meat per MP) with -2 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 18 180 1.95 @ 92 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 4 40 1.95
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 8 80 2.28
Disco Power Nap 40 40 10 100 2.50
Disco Nap 20 20 6 60 3.00
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 5 50 3.33
WC Cola (10 meat per MP) with -3 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 17 170 1.46 @ 116 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 3 30 1.46
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 7 70 2.00
Disco Power Nap 40 40 9 90 2.25
Disco Nap 20 20 5 50 2.50
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 4 40 2.66

The last resort is Doc Galactick Tonic, available to everyone at any time. Note that before the herbs quest, it is cheaper to heal yourself using any of the skills listed below instead of using Doc Galaktik's other medicine (except Cannelloni Cocoon with less than 34 HP).

tonic (17 meat per MP) with no MP cost modifiers
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 20 340 4.85 @ 70 HP
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 10 170 4.85
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 6 102 4.97
Disco Power Nap 40 40 12 204 5.10
Disco Nap 20 20 8 136 6.80
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 7 119 7.93
tonic (17 meat per MP) with -1 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 19 323 4.14 @ 78 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 5 85 4.14
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 9 153 4.37
Disco Power Nap 40 40 11 187 4.67
Disco Nap 20 20 7 119 5.95
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 6 102 6.8
tonic (17 meat per MP) with -2 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 18 306 3.32 @ 92 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 4 68 3.32
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 8 136 3.88
Disco Power Nap 40 40 10 170 4.25
Disco Nap 20 20 6 102 5.10
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 5 85 5.67
tonic (17 meat per MP) with -3 MP cost modifier
Source HP range Avg HP MP cost Meat cost Meat/HP
Cannelloni Cocoon all all 17 289 2.49 @ 116 HP
Lasagna Bandages 11-30 20.5 3 51 2.48
Tongue of the Walrus 30-40 35 7 119 3.40
Disco Power Nap 40 40 9 153 3.82
Disco Nap 20 20 5 85 4.25
Tongue of the Otter 10-20 15 4 68 4.53

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