Comma Chameleon Messages (Mi-Z)

From TheKolWiki

The Comma Chameleon familiar can consume Familiar Equipment to gain the functionality of other familiars. Each piece of equipment has a unique message when fed to a Chameleon, and another when the effect wears off.

Equipment Messages

• miniature carton of clove cigarettes (Spooky Gravy Fairy)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the clove cigarettes, not even bothering to read the sturgeon general's warning on the side.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches a pleasant-smelling belch, and her spookiness subsides.

• miniature castagnets (Casagnova Gnome)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the castagnets. Her torso vanishes, and she starts to seregnade you.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups and the castagnets give one final click. She looks relieved to have her torso back again.

• miniature dormouse (Wild Hare)
  • When eaten:

    <name> blinks sleepily, licks her fangs, and feeds her head with the dormouse. You have to admit, he had it coming.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches loudly, and her nose stops twitching as her little cotton-ball tail turns back into a more reptilian appendage.

• miniature espresso maker (Coffee Pixie)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the miniature espresso maker, not even bothering to chew! She starts to twitch violently, and fairy wings sprout from her shoulders.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name>'s stomach rumbles loudly, and she finally stops twitching.

• miniature Jacob's ladder (Hunchbacked Minion)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the Jacob's ladder. Her back hunches and she starts to talk with a lisp.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups, and sparks shoot from her nose as she swallows the Jacob's ladder. Her back straightens out and she gets less obsequious.

• miniature tophat (Dancing Frog)
  • When eaten:

    <Name> balances the top hat on her tongue. She starts singing and high-stepping.

  • When effect wears off:

    ?

• mint-condition magic wand (Wizard Action Figure)
  • When eaten:

    <name> eats the mint-condition wand. As purple plastic robes coalesce around her, her expression makes you think she'd have preferred a mint-flavored wand, instead.

  • When effect wears off:

    (currently, there is no message given)

• moonglasses (Grue)
  • When eaten:

    <name> tries to lick her eyeball, and ends up snagging the moonglasses. She swallows them, and is suddenly engulfed in shadow.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups, belches, and the shadows around her dissipate. And thank goodness, 'cause that was getting creepy.

• overclocked avian microprocessor (Robogoose)
  • When eaten:

    <name> snaps up the overclocked avian microprocessor. Her skin goes a metallic gray, and she lets loose a soulless *HONK.*

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches robotically. Her skin turns back to normal and she stops *HONK*ing all the time, thank goodness.

• palm-frond toupee (Blood-Faced Volleyball)
  • When eaten:

    <name> snags the palm-frond toupee with her tongue, and swallows it. Oh, well, she could probably use some roughage. She smiles blankly at you.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> sneezes hard, and her blank smile turns to her usual jovial grin.

• penguin-smacking club (Baby Yeti)
  • When eaten:

    <name> unhinges her jaw, swallows the penguin-smacking club, and her scales turn into rich, lucrative-looking fur.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches loudly, and her fur turns back into scales again.

• pet anemone (Urchin Urchin)
  • When eaten:

    <name> gobbles up the pet anemone. She sprouts spines and turns a fetching shade of purple.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> coughs up the pet anemone, which swims away, terrified. <name> loses her spines and turns green again.

• pet rock "Groucho" disguise (Pet Rock and Toothsome Rock)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the Groucho disguise, and turns into a duck. Why a duck?

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups, burps, and turns back into a regular chameleon again. The secret woid is... comma.

• pet rock "Snooty" disguise (Pet Rock and Toothsome Rock)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the Snooty disguise, choking briefly on the chain for the monocle.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups and blinks at you, looking decidedly less snooty.

• plastic bib (Gluttonous Green Ghost)
  • When eaten:

    <name> scarfs down the bib and looks even hungrier than before. Greener, too. She must've moved to the other side of the road while you weren't looking.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches, and her stomach finally stops growling.

• Pretty Predator Clawicure Kit (Snowy Owl)
  • When eaten:

    <name> sticks out her slimy tongue (or slimes out her sticky tongue) and swallows the clawicure kit. She rotates her head 180 degrees, and her claws get even sharper.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> gets the hiccups, and bounces around in an entirely-too-cute fashion. When she's done, she looks decidedly less owly. Ya rly.

• prosthetic forehead (Angry Goat)
  • When eaten:

    <name> reaches up with her tongue and snags the prosthetic forehead, swallowing it in one gulp. She grows horns and a cute little goatee.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> sneezes and swallows hard, and her horns and goatee vanish. Looks like you'll have to save up another seven dollars to buy another prosthetic forehead.

• psychedelic bubble wand (Psychedelic Bear)
  • When eaten:

    %fn^[sic] swallows the bubble wand, and her eyes start darting around the room. And changing colors.

  • When effect wears off:

    %fn^[sic] burps, watches the bubbles float away, and breathes a sigh of relief.

• quadroculars (He-Boulder)
  • When eaten:

    <name>'s skin gets harder as she stops blinking and begins to float in midair.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> burps out a little cloud of dust as she settles back to the ground.

• radioactive chew toy (Pair of Ragged Claws)
  • When eaten:

    %fn^[sic] eats the chew toy, and begins nervously pacing around, leaving a trail of slime behind her.

  • When effect wears off:

    %fn^[sic] belches, looking much less nervous and slimy than she previously did.

• rainbow tie (Personal Raincloud)
  • When eaten:

    <name> snaps up the rainbow tie, and swallows it. She hovers above your head, raining on you. Don't ask.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups and falls to the ground, but at least she's not "raining" anymore.

• rattlesnake enrager (Baby Mutant Rattlesnake)
  • When eaten:

    <name> sucks on the enrager. Her fangs grow longer and her tail grows a rattle.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> finally swallows the enrager. Her tail stops rattling (thank goodness), and her fangs retract.

• rhesus monkey (Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the rhesus monkey, not even dividing it into pieces first. She starts to karate-chop robotically, while a back leg turns into wood and she starts to decompose.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> burps loudly, squeaks "brrraaa--wait, what?" and is back to normal.

• security blankie (Grinning Turtle)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the security blankie. Her eyes suddenly widen as the forgotton horrors and tragedies of her past return unbidden to the fore.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> shouts, "It's Charlie! He's in the trees!", hiccups, and swallows hard. "...What was I talking about?" she asks, blinking dizzily.

• shock collar (Stab Bat)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the shock collar, and her skin turns black. She gets decidedly more pointy, which is good, since she was fairly pointless before.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches loudly and swallows hard. Her skin turns back to its normal color and her little pointy bits disappear. At least now she won't be attacking you.

• six-armed sweater (Cuddlefish)
  • When eaten:

    <Name> swallows the sweater and then gives you a big hug.

  • When effect wears off:

    <Name> belches and moves slightly further away from you.

• skewer-mounted razor blade (Ghost Pickle on a Stick)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the skewer-mounted razor blade in one gulp. I can't imagine that's going to be any good for her, digestive-wise. She glows brightly, and starts to drool corrosive pickle-juice.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> squeaks in pain, then seems to shake it off. She stops glowing and drooling acid, which is generally regarded as a hopeful sign in the medical community.

• smile-sharpening stone (Cheshire Bat)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the smile-sharpening stone, and vanishes, except for her smile, then reappears again. Who would have thought a comma chameleon would come and go like that?

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups, burps, and finally stops disappearing and reappearing, staying her regular red, gold, and green.

• spoon! (Nervous Tick)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the spoon!, careful not to gag on it. She sprouts antennae and starts to twitch.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> twitches once more, then her stomach gurgles and she settles down.

• string of dingle balls (Baby Sandworm)
  • When eaten:

    <name> scarfs down the dingle balls and starts bellowing "Ayiyiyiyiyi!"

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> lets out a belch redolent of refried beans.

• sucky decal (Barrrnacle)
  • When eaten:

    <name> licks the sucky decal off of her side, and swallows it. Her skin turns into a hard shell, but she's probably still chewy on the inside (like the Millenium Falcon).

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> coughs and swallows hard. Her skin turns back into scales -- major scales, if you must ask. Looks like she's going to suck a lot less, now.

• targeting chip (MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the targeting chip, and she starts stomping around and shooting little laser beams out of her eyes, and missiles out of her mouth.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches and fires one last missile, then returns to normal.

• tasteful black bow tie (Penguin Goodfella)
  • When eaten:

    <name> snaps up the bow tie in one bite. Her front legs turn into flippers and she looks for dandelions to tromp through.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> gulps and looks queasy. Her flippers turn into legs again, and she looks less likely to leave a horse's head in your bed.

• teddy bear sewing kit (Teddy Bear)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the teddy bear sewing kit, and her scales turn into fur. Must have been a pretty big kit, because now she looks stuffed!

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> rubs her stomach with one claw, burps, and her fur turns back into scales again.

• teddy borg sewing kit (Teddy Borg)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the teddy borg sewing kit. Her scales turn into fur and her eyes glow red. Must have been a pretty big kit, because now she looks stuffed!

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> rubs her stomach with one claw, burps, and her fur turns back into scales again. She's a lot less creepy now, too.

• tiny ballet slippers (Sugar Fruit Fairy)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the shoes, slurping down the laces like errant strands of spaghetti. She looks at you with a saccharine smile.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> lets loose a sweet-smelling burp, then sighs with ennui.

• tiny balloon knife (Howling Balloon Monkey)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the tiny balloon knife, accidentally popping it on her fangs. Her body swells, and she starts squeaking excitedly.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups, and her balloon body starts to deflate. At least she'll stop squeaking, now.

• tiny bindle (Hobo Monkey)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the bindle, then lights a tiny cigar.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups and accidentally swallows her cigar. She then turns a rather sickly shade of green.

• tiny bust of Pallas (Reassembled Blackbird)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the bust of Pallas, then coughs up a few feathers.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches, and gazes at you. The look in here^[sic] eyes seems to say "Nevermore."

• tiny cell phone (Purse Rat)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the phone, and immediately starts yapping like crazy.

  • When effect wears off:

    With an annoying and disgusting combiation of burp and yap, <name> calms down.

• tiny knife and fork (Ghuol Whelp)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the tiny knife and fork, and you watch her appetites change. It's an interesting process, visually -- too bad you can't see it.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches loudly, producing an unspeakable stench. Fortunately, it looks like she's lost her appetite for decaying flesh.

• tiny makeup kit (Doppelshifter)
  • When eaten:

    <name> blinks at you, and squeaks "are you trying to kill me?" but she swallows the tiny makeup kit, and starts to rapidly change shapes.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> gags violently, finally dislodging the makeup kit from her throat. She swallows it and stops doppelshifting, at least for now.

• tiny maracas (Hovering Sombrero)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the tiny maracas, rattling herself pretty good in the process. She rises off the ground, looking like Hunter S. Thompson's piñata.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches a spicy Bordertown belch, and falls to the ground. She blinks at you, confused.

• tiny Mountie hat (Whirling Maple Leaf)
  • When eaten:

    <name> licks the tiny Mountie hat off of her head, and swallows it. She starts spinning around, squeaking, "what's that aboot, eh?"

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> sneezes loudly, and spins more slowly until she finally comes to a stop, and looks comically dizzy.

• tiny nose-bone fetish (Pygmy Bugbear Shaman)
  • When eaten:

    <name> blinks at the fetish, snags it with her tongue, and swallows it. She grins at you, and her eyes flash octarine.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches an ovaltine-laced belch, and the octarine light fades from her eyes.

• tiny shaker of salt (Sabre-Toothed Lime)
  • When eaten:

    You search for your tiny shaker of salt and, having found it, give it to <name>. She grins and you watch her front teeth get longer, while her scales turn a little citrusy.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches loudly and looks embarrassed. Her green skin fades, and her sabre-teeth retract into her gums.

• toy six-seater hovercraft (Inflatable Dodecapede)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the hovercraft, and begins to hover. Sharp plastic seams appear along her sides, as do a couple more vestigial legs.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups and crashes to the ground, her sharp seams melting into her scales. At least she's gotten rid of those extra legs.

• tuning fork (Scary Death Orb)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the tuning fork, and her skin gets shinier. Then she starts hovering around your head and menacing you with her pointy claws. It's a little disconcerting.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> belches loudly and swallows hard. Her skin turns back to its normal color and she falls back to the ground, looking a little dizzy.

• undissolvable contact lenses (Slimeling)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the contact lenses. Her skin becomes slimy, and she starts poking around you sack looking for equipment to eat.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> burps and wipes herself off.

• unspeakable lozenges (Squamous Gibberer)
  • When eaten:

     ?

  • When effect wears off:

     ?

• velvet choker (Feather Boa Constrictor)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the velvet choker, only briefly choking on it. She gets longer, skinnier, and her scales sprout feathers.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> gets a bad case of the hiccups, which is indecently cute. When she's done, she's turned back into a chameleon again.

• weegee sqouija (Spirit Hobo)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the weegee sqouija, and turns translucent. She floats in the air in front of you, hiccuping occasionally.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name>'s tummy rumbles, and she goes opaque again and crashes to the ground. Looks like she's going to have a little hangover.

• woolen cravat (Dandy Lion)
  • When eaten:

    <name> swallows the cravat, and puts on a monocle and posh accent. "Tally ho, old bean!"

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups, and her monocle flies off.

• zen motorcycle (Llama Lama)
  • When eaten:

    <name> flicks out her tongue and swallows the motorcycle. She closes her eyes and assumes the lotus position, then hovers a few feet off the ground.

  • When effect wears off:

    <name> hiccups, and falls back to the ground. She spends a few adorable minutes trying to extricate herself from the lotus position.

References

• The message for the miniature dormouse refers to the "feed your head" line from the Jefferson Airplane song "White Rabbit".
• The message for the nose-bone fetish mentions octarine, a reference to Discworld where octarine is the eighth, magical, color of the spectrum.
• The Pet Rock "Groucho" disguise message refers to the Marx Brothers film The Cocoanuts, which features a scene where "viaduct" is heard as "why a duck?"
• The "Groucho" disguise's expiration message refers to the game show You Bet Your Life, which was hosted by Groucho Marx and gave contestants a $100 bonus if they said the secret word (pronounced "woid" in Marx's accent). Furthermore, the show's mascot was a duck with Groucho's trademark glasses, eyebrows, mustache, and cigar.
• The "Ya rly" at the end of the "worn off" message for the Pretty Predator Clawicure Kit (Snowy Owl) alludes to an internet fad of pictures depicting owls for humorous reasons, staring with the infamous "O RLY?" owl, commonly followed by the "YA RLY" owl and then the "NO WAI!" owl.
• The prosthetic forehead's expiration message (like the forehead's description) is another reference to the song "We Want A Rock", by They Might Be Giants.
• The message for the rhesus monkey mentions that she doesn't cut it into pieces first. This refers to the candy product Reese's Pieces.
• The "gag" mention in the message for the spoon! is a reference to Frank Zappa song "Valley Girl", which features Moon Unit Zappa's distinctive stylings of "lyrics" such as "Gag me with a spoon".
• The message for the sucky decal is a reference to Star Wars, "Chewie" being a nickname for Han Solo's Wookie partner/co-pilot Chewbacca, and the Millennium Falcon being their ship.
• The tasteful black bowtie consumption message is a reference to the character Opus from Berkeley Breathed's comic Bloom County. Opus later appeared in Breathed's strips Outland and now the self-titled Opus. Opus, the large-nosed penguin, is known for his appreciation of dandelions and kicking through fields of them.
• The message for the tiny maracas mentions Hunter S. Thompson, which may be a reference to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, in which the main character has an acid trip in a bar and sees the patrons as giant lizards.
• The message for the tiny shaker of salt, like its description, references the Jimmy Buffett song "Margaritaville," specifically the line "Searching for my lost shaker of salt."