Clockwork Grapefruit

From TheKolWiki

• Regular messages:

  <name> delivers a horrorshow tolchok to your opponent's gulliver, doing X damage.

  <name> repeatedly kicks your opponent in the stomach for X damage, while singing 'Singing in the Rain.'

  <name> produces a real cutthroat britva, slicing your opponent up for X damage before rolling around in the red, red kroovy.

  <name> smecks cruelly and gives your opponent a bit of the old ultraviolence, doing X damage.

  <name> whips out his oozy and chains your opponent right in the glazzies for X damage.

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:
  

  <name> delivers one last powerful kick, and grabs a little more cutter, O my brothers.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:
  

  O, my brothers, <name> fillies around the maypole like a real grazhny malchikiwik.

• With wax lips equipped:
  

  O, my droogies, <name> grins a real horrorshow grin with his wax goobers.

Arena Messages

• When entered in an Obstacle Course:

  <name> doesn't do very well in the obstacle course, because <name> believes in destroying obstacles, not avoiding them.

Notes

• The Clockwork Grapefruit begins with its familiar name as 6655321 instead of any of the usual names.
• Damage (regardless of message) is X/2 rounded up to X+6, where X is the familiar weight.
• The grapefruit attacks 50% of the time, regardless of weight. Each of its attacks are equally likely.

References

• The name of this familiar is a pun on the Anthony Burgess book A Clockwork Orange which provided the original story for the Stanley Kubrick cult classic film of the same name.
• This familiar's haiku also alludes to Alex, the main character of A Clockwork Orange, who found pleasure in acts of extreme violence (among other things), which he called ultraviolence.
• The "Singing in the Rain" line refers to a scene in the movie where Alex terrorizes an old man while singing that song.
• The last line of the haiku refers to a song by Rob Zombie, called Never Gonna Stop (Red Red Kroovy), which was also used by the WWE as the entrance music for pro-wrestler Edge.
• The word "kroovy" is similar to "krovvy," which means "blood" in the Nadsat slang used by the characters in A Clockwork Orange Also in the haiku, "horrorshow" simply means "good".
• The default name for this familiar (unlike "Tort" or another similar name) is "6655321", which is Alex's prisoner ID number in the novel (in the movie, his number is "655321").
• The combat messages generated by this familiar also contain Nadsat slang. Here are their translations:
  • <name> delivers a good hit to your opponent's head, doing X damage.
  • <name> produces a real cutthroat razor, slicing your opponent up for X damage before rolling around in the red, red blood.
  • <name> laughs cruelly and gives your opponent a bit of the old ultraviolence, doing X damage.
  • <name> whips out his chain and chains your opponent right in the eyes for X damage.
  • <name> delivers one last powerful kick, and grabs a little more money, O my brothers.
  • O, my brothers, <name> fools/plays around the maypole like a real dirty boy.
  • O, my friends, <name> grins a real good grin with his wax lips.