Clay golem

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Clay golem
Monster ID 1368
Locations Art Class
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie+3
Defense Player's Muscle+3
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso, dreidel
lump of clay, lump of clay
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
clay golem You're fighting a clay golem

Man, some crazy wizards will make a golem out of absolutely anything. I mean, look at this thing! It's made out of clay! Some kind of hoary potter got the wild idea to bring it to life, and now its only desire is to smash its fists into you with a resounding shplut.

Hit Message(s):

He pushes you into the kiln. You get burned a bit before you can jump back out. Eek! Oof! (hot damage)

He throws a thick wodge of clay over your mouth and nose. You half suffocate before you can pull it off. Eek! Ugh!

He fires his fist in a kiln until it's solid, then decks you with it. Argh! Argh!

He rolls up a bunch of little balls of clay and pelts you with them. Oof! Argh!

He throws a pot out of his clay, then throws it at you. Ooh! Argh!

He makes a snake out of clay and sends it to bite you in the groin. Ugh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He rolls a long skinny rope of clay and wraps you up in it, turning you into one of those coil vases people make in Pottery 101. You can't move, and you can barely breathe, and it pretty much stinks on ice. Argh! Oof! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to push you into the kiln, but you trick him into thinking that'd just make you stronger.

He throws a thick wodge of clay at your face, but you're not going to be clayface.

He tries to kiln-fire his fists, but the kiln's not quite hot enough.

He throws little clay pellets at you, but it doesn't hurt all that much.

He tries to throw a pot at you, but you always say no to pot.

He makes a few snakes out of clay, because they're easy and fun to make.

Fumble Message:

He starts to get all gray and brittle and has to cover himself with plastic for a bit before he can move again. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Clayglob.gifYou acquire an item: lump of clay (25% chance)*
Clayglob.gifYou acquire an item: lump of clay (10% chance)*

Occurs at Art Class.


  • This monster scales to your stats, plus +ML, plus 3.


  • Golems are supposed to be made out of clay (or dust), not, say, mineshafts.
  • Harry Potter is a wizard with a name that sounds like "hoary potter."