Disguise yourself as a pirate, and then become one, joining Cap'm Caronch's crew! This is a sequence of quests, which will have various names in your Quest Log. This quest line is one of the two ways to unlock the Palindome for the Level 11 Quest for the Holy MacGuffin, and is also required for the later stages of the Me and My Nemesis quest line.
- Adventure in The Obligatory Pirate's Cove until you get the parts of the Swashbuckling Getup (the eyepatch, swashbuckling pants, and stuffed shoulder parrot).
- While disguised as a pirate, buy The Big Book of Pirate Insults from Barrrtleby's Barrrgain Bookstore.
- Adventure at Barrrney's Barrr until the encounter You and the Cap'm Make it Hap'm, which gives you Cap'm Caronch's Map.
- Along the way, use the insult book during combat encounters here to learn retorts, which you will need later. You can also use the insult book to learn retorts while undisguised, during combats at The Obligatory Pirate's Cove. You must learn at least three of the eight useful retorts, since the contest is three rounds long: however it is recommended to learn at least six or seven, because this is the point at which it becomes, on average, faster to attempt the contest and risk a couple of losses than to spend more turns trying to learn the last couple of responses.
- Use the map to fight a booty crab to reclaim Cap'm Caronch's nasty booty, and return to the Barrr to get the Orcish Frat House blueprints. (You will lose Cap'm Caronch's Map.)
- Equip the correct items, use the blueprints, and acquire Cap'm Caronch's dentures. Re-equip your pirate costume and return to the Barr for Step Up to the Table, Put the Ball in Play.
- Adventure in the Barrr until you get the Arrr You Man Enough? adventure. Use the retorts you learned earlier to win the Insult Beer Pong match and unlock The F'c'le. (note: If you lose the contest, you get to try again next turn. However, if you refuse the contest, there will be a delay of some adventures before you can try again. Use this delay to try and learn a few more of the piratical responses.)
- Adventure in The F'c'le until you have each of the following: mizzenmast mop, ball polish and rigging shampoo. Use each of them after obtaining it. If you have access to olfaction or copying, those may be useful here.
- Adventure in The F'c'le until you get the adventure A Fledgling Pirate Is You! This unlocks The Poop Deck.
- If you have read your father's MacGuffin diary, adventure in The Poop Deck until you get the adventure It's Always Swordfish to unlock Belowdecks.
- pirate fledges
- 3000 Meat
- Access to The F'c'le, The Poop Deck and Belowdecks.
- In your Quest Log, in the Completed Miscellaneous Quests section, you will see: "You have successfully joined Cap'm Caronch's crew! Unfortunately, you've been given crappy scutwork to do before you're a full-fledged pirate."
- Once you have completed the scutwork, your Quest Log will say: "Congratulations, you're a mighty pirate! Time to man the poop deck and sail the eleven seas!"
- Once you have unlocked Belowdecks, your Quest Log will say: "Oh, and also you've managed to scam your way belowdecks, which is cool."
- Cap'n Crunch is the eponymous mascot of a brand of notoriously sugary breakfast cereal, which would explain his rotted-out teeth and strikingly similar hat.