Butterknife of Regret
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|Butterknife of Regret|
|Locations||A Kitchen Drawer|
The butterknife, not being the sharpest knife in the drawer (no, I mean literally), can only cut the softest of materials.
Well, actually that's not quite true. Like regret, it can cut through almost anything, but it's a slow and painful process. Which doesn't bode well for your immediate future.
It slices you in the head. Did you know that the average head is about the same density as butter? Now you know. Oof!
It stabs you in the <kidney>. The edge is dull, but the point's surprisingly sharp. Oof!
It tries to spread you like butter. It doesn't work, but the process is far from pleasant. Oof!
It whacks you with the flat of its blade. Yipe, that stings! Argh!
It heats itself up on the oven, then slices through your calf like a hot knife through butter. Ow! (hot damage)
It tries to whack you with the flat of its blade, but you say that'd be wack.
It tries to spread you like butter, but you tell it that it butter not.
It tries to stab you in the <arse>, but you know butter than to fall for that.
You ask it if it's acceptable to use a butterknife to cut margarine, and it's too confused to attack. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: Artist's Butterknife of Regret (25%(?) chance)*|
Occurs at A Kitchen Drawer.