Burly Sidekick
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a Burly SidekickWhat's a big, beefy guy with a machine gun for an arm doing hanging out with a bunch of big-headed anime losers? You don't have much time to ponder the question, however, as he charges your way with a menacing "I PITY DA FOOL!"
Hit Message(s):
He fires a couple of rounds from his machine gun, grazing your <calf>. Oof! Ooh!
He kicks you in the side. You really should have anticipated that. Argh! Oof!
He punches you with his gun arm. That's questionable strategy, but it still hurts like the dickens, charlie. Ugh! Ugh! Eek!
Critical Hit Message:
He grabs you in a headlock, holding you tight with his gun arm. He viciously headbutts you, which is compounded by his spiky mohawk. Then he squeezes your neck until you black out. You wake up bruised and battered like onion rings. Ugh! Eek! Ugh! Oof!
Miss Message(s):
He fires his machine gun at you, but it only produces flashes of light from the barrel and no bullets.
He tries to kick you in the side, but you kick him to the side quicker. More quickly? Quickerly?
He tries to punch you with his gun arm, but you easily dodge.
Fumble Message:
He starts to fire another couple of rounds out of his gun arm, but is out of ammo. As he starts to reload, someone offers him a glass of milk. He drinks it and passes out for a while.
  Meat | You gain 79-168 Meat. (average: 124.3, stdev: 17.0)* |
Occurs at The Penultimate Fantasy Airship.
References
- The Burly Sidekick is an obvious parody of Barret Wallace, from Final Fantasy VII. The miss message about flashes of light further supports this by referencing Barrett's machine gun, which only creates flashes of light and not the bullets, even though the enemy is hit.
- "I Pity Da Fool" was the catchphrase of 80s mohawk-wearing TV sidekick Mr. T, aka B.A. Baracus on The A-Team (whom Barrett resembles). The fumble message also references this (B.A. was afraid of flying, so to get him on airplanes, they would drug his milk without his knowledge).
- "It still hurts like the dickens, charlie" is a reference to Victorian author Charles Dickens.
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