Broodling seal

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Broodling seal
Location	using figurine of a cute baby seal
Hitpoints	91-99
Attack	77-83
Defense	97-107
Initiative	?
Meat	None
Element	None
Physical	All damage not caused by a club is reduced to 1.
Drops severed flipper
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You're fighting a broodling seal

You light the candles and speak the ancient words. You hear nursery bells ringing faintly in the distance as a pink and powder blue haze wells up in a circle around you. There is a wet pop as a broodling seal is plucked from the Abyss and plopped onto the ground before you.

Now, this thing may look cute, but don't let it fool you -- it's pure evil. All seals are. From the moment the Brood Nanny ushers them through the Yawning Sphincter of the Abyss^* until the end of their days, it's just kill, maim, destroy.

It blinks at you. Then it blinks at you again. Then it giggles. You ready your weapon and spring into action, because you know what that giggle means.

^* If you're wondering what this looks like, there are some videos on the Internet that can help you visualize the process.

Hit Message(s):

It bats its big dark eyes at you, and as you gaze into them you witness terrible, terrible things. Terrible. Just terrible.Ow! Ugh! Ouch!

It waddles up to you and gives you a biiiiiig hug. It'd be cute if it wasn't for the hidden claws that emerge and slash you across the back. Ow! Argh! Ugh!

It giggles, and the high pitched sound penetrates you to your very soul. It hurts.Oof! Ooh! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

It looks at you with its big, wide eyes, and giggles. You frown at it, and its face falls. After a few seconds, it begins to cry. And as it cries... you begin to scream. Ooh! Eek! Ouch! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

It bats its big dark eyes at you, but you avert your gaze.

It waddles up to you and tries to give you a big hug, but you say no to hugs.

It tries to give you a big hug, but backing out of the way is your anti-hug.

It giggles, but you manage to plug your ears before it does any damage. Good thing you've been practicing by watching the Teletubbies.

Fumble Message:

It trundles toward you, but falls on its face. It lies face-down for a while, beating the ground with its flippers and throwing a temper tantrum.