Bind Vampieroghi

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Bind Vampieroghi

Bind Vampieroghi

Type: Noncombat
MP Cost: 12

This skill allows you to bind the spirit of a vampire into a pieroghi and bend it to your will, as long as your will is more or less "bite stuff for me," since that's basically all vampieroghis are good at.

Summons a Vampieroghi thrall

Source: Guild trainer
Price: 500 Meat
Class: Pastamancer
Level: 3
Effect: Summons a Vampieroghi thrall. A thrall acts like a second familiar in combat.
  • When bound for the first time:

You sit crosslegged on the ground at your campsite and focus your consciousness inward. You go through your belly button and come out the other side, into a plane of pure thought and essence. "Wow, this place is amazing!" you say.

"Do you think so?" a voice says. "I find that it only intensifies my brooding angst. You see, when I had a physical form, I could brood about being a vampire and not wanting to suck blood, because that made me so much more attractive to the fourteen-year-old girls who loved me. I was able to repress my vampire self and become an utterly harmless, sexless kind of superhero instead of a vampire. Here, I can't suck blood, so I can't brood about not sucking blood, so I'm totally angsty about that, and there're no teenage girls here to find that irresistible. It sucks."

"Pun intended?" you ask. "Ah, never mind. Listen, if you'd like, I'll make you a new body on the physical plane, and you can inhabit it and brood all you like."

"Will it be a handsome, tragically beautiful form? Will I make all the girls swoon as I tell them I love them too much to suck their blood?"

"Um. Something like that, sure," you say. "Or it'll be a hideous form that enables you to finally convert that brooding to rage and just suck some blood and be scary, for crying out loud."

"Huh. You know, that doesn't sound half bad. I've had the most wicked case of bluefangs for as long as I can remember."

"Bluewha? Never mind. I don't want to know. What shall I call you when I summon you?"

"My name is written in blood across the history of time . . . but you can call me <name>."

  • Subsequent binding:

You conjure a pieroghi, and there is a hiss as it becomes inflated with <name>'s presence.


You try to bind a vampire to your service, but you flub the incantantion and just end up surrounded by a flying cloud of bloody potato pieces.

Bloodpotatoes.gifYou acquire an effect: Bloody Potato Bits
(duration: 10 Adventures)