Biker

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Biker
Monster ID 2089
Locations The Neverending Party
Hit Points 75% of its Defense
Attack Player's Moxie + 20
Defense Player's Muscle + 20
Initiative 0
Meat 80-120
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts unknown
Drops
gas can, Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey, neverending wallet chain, pentagram bandana, Gold skull ring
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
biker You're fighting a biker

This doesn't seem like the kind of party a biker would even want to go to, but nevertheless there is one here, about to hit you with a big chain.

Hit Message(s):

He opens a window and one of his buddies outside revs up a motorcycle, spewing nasty-smelling exhaust all over you. Ugh! Eek! Ugh! Argh! Argh! (stench damage)

He whips you in the <nipple> with his chain. To add insult to injury, it's all greasy! Argh! Oof! Oof! Ow! (sleaze damage)

He pulls out a gas can, empties it on your <eye>, and lights it. Very wasteful. Ugh! Oof! Eek! Eek! (hot damage)

He pulls out a wrench and clobbers you in the <face>. That's supposed to be for fixing motorcycles, you dummy!. Ugh! Argh! Eek! Ooh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

He goes outside, gets on his motorcycle, drives it back in through the front door and peels out on your <knee>. (CRITICAL HIT!) Oof! Ugh! Oof! Argh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

He cocks his arm back to punch you, but gets distracted by the sound of a motorcycle starting up outside. These guys love motorcycles!

He pulls out a wrench and tries to clobber you with it, but you pull out a comically large bolt and block the blow with it.

He tries to whip you with his chain, but it slips out of his hand because it's too well lubricated.

He pulls out a gas can and empties it on your <kidney>, but then he can't find a match to light you with.

Fumble Message:

He goes outside, gets on his motorcycle, drives it back in through the front door , then immediately loses control of it and skids through the back door and into the swimming pool. Everybody points and laughs. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 80-120 Meat. (average: 100, stdev: 8.56)*
Gascan.gifYou acquire an item: gas can (?% chance)*
Middlewhiskey.gifYou acquire an item: Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey (?% chance)*
Walletchain.gifYou acquire an item: neverending wallet chain (?% chance)*
Pentadana.gifYou acquire an item: pentagram bandana (?% chance)*
Goldskullring.gifYou acquire an item: gold skull ring (?% chance)*
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at The Neverending Party.