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Best Drinks

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Cocktailcrafting
Drink Categories | Drinking Mechanics | Drinking Strategies | Best Drinks | Drinks By Ingredient | Drink Matrix

The quality of a drink is a measure of the benefit of the drink compared to the drunkenness it gives you. For instance, if a drink gives you 5 adventures and 12 muscle substat points for 2 drunkenness, then it has an adventure quality of 2.5 and a muscle substat quality of 6.

Contents

Best Drinks for Adventures

The following table lists which drinks are the best quality for maximizing the number of adventures you get for each unit of drunkenness. They are sorted in descending order by adventures-per-unit-drunk.

Note that various game mechanics affect the number of adventures gained from imbibing booze. See also:

A Table which lists Booze with various effects such as Ode, Blender, and Frosty's frosty mug can be found here.

Tier Item(s) Level Req. Adventures Drunk Adv Per Drunk
Hobopolis Arthur Finn's World-Record Homebrew Stout, Bathtub Jimmy's Gin Mill, Mad Jack's Corn Squeezery - 50 5 10*
Hobopolis Ralph IX cognac 15 57 6 9.5
Hobopolis Hodgman's blanket 15 16 2 8.0
Penguin Mafia wines Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet, Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel, Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir, Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne, Uovo Marcio Shiraz 10 7.5 1 7.5
The Suburbs of Dis green eggnog 12 21 3 7.0
Penguin Mafia wines Acqua Del Piatto Merlot 10 6.5 1 6.5
Raffle House prize Grimacite Bock 8
Hobopolis jar of fermented pickle juice 13 31.5 5 6.3
Drunksgiving drop cranberry schnapps 4 18.5 3 6.17
Drunksgiving drop soy cordial 6 30 5 6
Pork Elf space products Wrecked Generator 5
Drunksgiving drop breaded beer 24 4
marshmallow flambé 3 12 2
Peppermint drinks Crimbojito, Feliz Navidad, Gin Mint, Mint Yulep, Sangria de Menthe, Vodka Matryoshka 2 11.5 2 5.75
Ascension reward bottle of single-barrel whiskey 13 16.5 3 5.5
A Pumpkin Patch pumpkin beer 2 5.5 1
Crimbo 2011 drink Go-Wassail -
Semi-Rare Adventures distilled fortified wine, thermos full of Knob coffee
Fernswarthy's Basement levels 200 and 400 reward Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster 13 25 5 5.0
Nemesis quest reward decanter of fine Scotch 9 20 4
Cinco de Mayo reward Cinco Mayo Lager - 15 3
advanced mushroom fermenting solution gloomy mushroom wine, oily mushroom wine 7 14.5 3 4.83
Bounty Hunting reward Oreille Divisée brandy 4 13.5 3 4.5
Pork Elf space products Moonthril Schnapps 3 4.5 1
tiny plastic sword finals bodyslam, cherry bomb, dirty martini, grogtini, sangria del diablo, vesper 6 24 6 4.0
Superhuman Cocktailcrafting finals teqiwila slammer, yellow brick road, neuromancer, Mae West, vodka stratocaster, gimlet, Divine, mandarina colada, Gordon Bennett, Mon Tiki, prussian cathouse, tangarita 16 4
mushroom fermenting solution icy mushroom wine, flaming mushroom wine, stinky mushroom wine, flat mushroom wine, cool mushroom wine, pointy mushroom wine, Knob mushroom wine, Knoll mushroom wine, spooky mushroom wine 12 3
Skeleton Invasion drink bone aperitif 8 2
Hobopolis jar of squeeze 8 27.5 7 3.93
Advanced Cocktailcrafting final with The Traveling Trader fruit bungle in the jungle 7 15 4 3.75
El Dia de Los Muertos Borrachos higher-level drinks Corpse Island iced tea, corpse on the beach, corpsedriver, corpsetini 5 21 6 3.5
Superhuman Cocktailcrafting finals berry-infused sake, citrus-infused sake, melon-infused sake 7 14 4
Evil Advanced Cocktailcrafting finals An evil little sump'm sump'm, Evil ducha de oro, Evil horizontal tango, Evil roll in the hay 4
The Haunted Sorority House drinks Blood Light, Ecto-Cooler, Bone's Farm "wine", Silver Bullet beer, Bartles and BRAAAINS wine cooler 6 3.5 1
Halloween drop mulled cider, giant glass of brandy 5 10 3 3.33
Cocktailcrafting with Frat Army FGF ingredient boilermaker 12 13 4 3.25
The Worm Wood drops white Xanadian, shot of nepenthe schnapps, bottle of realpagne 2 6.5 2
black picnic basket black & tan 7
The Mouldering Mansion flask of Amontillado 4 12.5 4 3.13
Mt. Molehill Morlock's Mark Bourbon
Salacious Cocktailcrafting finals dew yoana salacious lei, salacious lychee chuhai, salacious screwdiver 8 12 4 3.0
Advanced Cocktailcrafting finals a little sump'm sump'm, blended frozen swill, calle de miel, ducha de oro, fruity girl swill, fuzzbump, horizontal tango, ocean motion, perpendicular hula, pink pony, rockin' wagon, roll in the hay, slap and tickle, slip 'n' slide, tropical swill 4
Around the World Quest around the world
An Oasis drop Supernova Champagne 8 9 3
Junior Adventurer's kit white-label gin -
post-Exterminate the Filthworm Infestation (completed in War Hippy Fatigues) schnapps plum wine, shot of peach schnapps, shot of pear schnapps 8 6 2
The Red Queen's Garden Missing wine 5
The Haunted Gallery bottle of Pinot Renoir 4
Dusty bottle of wine Glyph Four -
The Orcish Frat House (Bombed Back to the Stone Age) drop cup of primitive beer 12 3 1
Hippy Army MPE / Frat Army FGF drinks can of Swiller, McMillicancuddy's Special Lager, melted Jell-o shot, thistle wine, cruelty-free wine 10
Crimbo drinks elven cellocello, herringcello -
Crimbo drinks canteen of wine, elven moonshine 5 8.5 3 2.83
Pork Elf space products Saison du Lune 2
Crimbo drinks bottle of peppermint schnapps, expired bottle of peppermint schnapps -
Cocktailcrafting final with The Spectral Pickle Factory drop especially salty dog 4 11 4 2.75
Seaside Megalopolis drop sham champagne 7 5.5 2
Advanced Cocktailcrafting base with The Traveling Trader fruit banana daiquiri 3 8 3 2.67
tiny plastic sword bases dry martini, dry vodka martini, grog, old-fashioned, sangria, tequila with training wheels 3 7.5 3 2.5
Superhuman Cocktailcrafting bases caipifruta, gibson, gin and tonic, mimosette, parisian cathouse, rabbit punch, teqiwila, tequila sunset, vodka gibson, vodka and tonic, whiskey bittersweet, zmobie
Cocktailcrafting finals extra-spicy bloody mary, eggnog
Crimbo drinks spooky eggnog, untainted eggnog, nanite-infested eggnog
Whitey's Grove white lightning
Ancient Cursed containers cursed bottle of black-label rum
Crimbo drinks oozenog -
El Dia de Los Muertos Borrachos lower-level drinks corpsebite, kamicorpse-ee, purple corpsel, red-headed corpse
diving belle drop salinated mint julep 5 5 2
The Slime Tube slimy fermented bile bladder 6 2.5 1
Cobb's Knob drink Cobb's Knob Wurstbrau 4
Cocktailcrafting with The Black Forest drop shot of blackberry schnapps 11
The F'c'le drop cream stout 3
Cocktailcrafting Russian Ice 2
Barrrney's Barrr shot of rotgut -
Game Shoppe drinks natto-infused sake, tobiko-infused sake, wasabi-infused sake - 7 3 2.33
Pork Elf space products elven squeeze 4 6.5 3 2.17
Toot Oriole reward Mt. Noob Pale Ale - 4.5 2 2.25
Half-Astral drop (consumes beer) ice stein + ice-cold six-pack - 12 6 2.0
bartender-in-the-box explosion salty slug, beertini, papaya slung, tomato daiquiri 2 6 3
Cocktailcrafting spiced rum
Nash Crosby's Still bottle of Calcutta Emerald, bottle of Definit, bottle of Domesticated Turkey, bottle of Jorge Sinsonte, bottle of Lieutenant Freeman, bottle of Pete's Sake, boxed champagne
CRIMBCO products CRIMBCO wine -
The Haunted Ballroom drop flute of flat champagne 2 4 2
The Haunted Library drop snifter of thoroughly aged brandy -
Mer-kin tippler drop Alewife™ Ale 5 2 1
Pandamonium drinks booze-soaked cherry, gin-soaked blotter paper 3
Icy Peak drop Ram's Face Lager 2
fermenting powder fine wine, shot of flower schnapps, shot of grapefruit schnapps, shot of orange schnapps, shot of tomato schnapps -
Cocktailcrafting bloody beer, green beer
black picnic basket Blackfly Chardonnay 7 5.5 3 1.83
Salacious Cocktailcrafting bases dew yoana lei, lychee chuhai, screwdiver 4
Cocktailcrafting White Hyborian 2
The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery Infinitesimal IPA -
Advanced Cocktailcrafting bases margarita, martini, monkey wrench, salty dog, screwdriver, strawberry daiquiri, strawberry wine, tequila sunrise, Typical Tavern swill, vodka martini, whiskey and soda, whiskey sour, wine spritzer
Cocktailcrafting bloody mary, lumbering jack, papaya sling, redrum, rum and cola, vodka and cranberry, whiskey and cola, white Canadian
Summon Clip Art Bucket of wine 5 17.5 10 1.75
Dusty bottle of wine Glyphs One, Three and Five - 3.5 2
The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery Scrawny Stout - 4.5 3 1.5
The Poop Deck drop bilge wine
The Haunted Kitchen drops accidental cider
bottle of popskull, bottle of cooking sherry 3 2
The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery Petite Porter - 4 3 1.33
The Sleazy Back Alley / The Haunted Pantry drop Mad Train wine - 3.5 3 1.17
sea slugs slug of shochu, slug of rum, slug of vodka 2 3 3 1.0
basic booze bottle of gin, bottle of rum, bottle of tequila, bottle of vodka, bottle of whiskey, boxed wine -
The Haiku Dungeon bottle of sake
Orcish Frat House / The Sleazy Back Alley / pre-quest Typical Tavern drop ice-cold fotie
Cocktailcrafting pebblebräu 1 1
basic beer ice-cold Sir Schlitz, ice-cold Willer, Imp Ale, plastic cup of beer
Ancient Cursed containers cursed bottle of rum
Hobo Sewer booze bottle of Ooze-O, bottle of sewage schnapps - 0 3 0
Dusty bottle of wine Glyph Six 2
Glyph Two 0

*Does not benefit from Ode to Booze.

Best Drinks for Stat Gains

The following table lists which drinks are the best quality for maximizing the stats you get for each unit of drunkenness. They are sorted in descending order by total-stats-per-unit-drunkenness.

Drinks Level Req. Adv. Drunkenness Muscle Myst Moxie Stats/Drunk
Pebblebräu 1.50 1.00 68.50 76.50 59.50 204.50
Grimacite Bock 8 8.00 1.00 65.00 60.50 62.00 187.50
Acqua Del Piatto Merlot 10 8.00 1.00 60.00 60.00 60.00 180.00
Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet 10 8.00 1.00 60.00 60.00 60.00
Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel 10 8.00 1.00 60.00 60.00 60.00
Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir 10 8.00 1.00 60.00 60.00 60.00
Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne 10 8.00 1.00 60.00 60.00 60.00
Uovo Marcio Shiraz 10 8.00 1.00 60.00 60.00 60.00
bungle in the jungle 7 15.00 4.00 65.00 85.00 65.00 53.75
bottle of single-barrel whiskey 13 18.00 3.00 45.00 45.00 45.00 45.00
Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster 12 25.00 5.00 75.00 75.00 75.00
Thistle wine 10 3.00 1.00 0.00 0.00 45.00
shot of rotgut 2.50 1.00 11.00 11.00 11.00 33.00
especially salty dog 4 12.00 4.00 40.50 40.50 40.50 30.62
cream stout 3 2.50 1.00 9.00 9.00 9.00 27.00
banana daiquiri 3 8.50 3.00 20.00 20.00 20.00 20.00
Oreille Divisée brandy 4 13.50 3.00 20.00 20.00 20.00 20.00
shot of blackberry schnapps 11 3.00 1.00 6.00 6.00 6.00 18.00
bottle of Pinot Renoir 4 6.00 2.00 22.50 13.00 0.00 17.75
distilled fortified wine 5.50 1.00 5.50 5.50 5.50 16.50
eggnog 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 23.00 23.00 15.33
spooky eggnog 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 23.00 23.00
Flask of Amontillado 4 13.00 4.00 20.00 20.00 20.00 15.00
gloomy mushroom wine 7 15.00 3.00 13.50 13.50 13.50 13.50
oily mushroom wine 7 15.00 3.00 13.50 13.50 13.50
Boilermaker 12 13.00 4.00 27.50 12.50 12.50 13.13
can of Swiller 10 3.00 1.00 12.50 0.00 0.00 12.50
Blackfly Chardonnay 7 5.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 35.00 11.67
Mon Tiki 6 16.00 4.00 44.00 0.00 0.00 11.00
teqiwila slammer 6 16.00 4.00 44.00 0.00 0.00
neuromancer 6 16.00 4.00 26.00 0.00 18.00
vodka stratocaster 6 16.00 4.00 26.00 0.00 18.00
Divine 6 16.00 4.00 18.00 26.00 0.00
Gordon Bennett 6 16.00 4.00 18.00 26.00 0.00
gimlet 6 16.00 4.00 0.00 44.00 0.00
yellow brick road 6 16.00 4.00 0.00 44.00 0.00
mandarina colada 6 16.00 4.00 0.00 18.00 26.00
tangarita 6 16.00 4.00 0.00 18.00 26.00
Mae West 6 16.00 4.00 0.00 0.00 44.00
prussian cathouse 6 16.00 4.00 0.00 0.00 44.00
Ram's Face Lager 2 2.50 1.00 9.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
fuzzbump 4 12.00 4.00 35.00 0.00 0.00 8.75
slip 'n' slide 4 12.00 4.00 35.00 0.00 0.00
ocean motion 4 12.00 4.00 26.00 9.00 0.00
pink pony 4 12.00 4.00 26.00 0.00 9.00
ducha de oro 4 12.00 4.00 9.00 26.00 0.00
calle de miel 4 12.00 4.00 9.00 0.00 26.00
horizontal tango 4 12.00 4.00 0.00 35.00 0.00
roll in the hay 4 12.00 4.00 0.00 35.00 0.00
a little sump'm sump'm 4 12.00 4.00 0.00 26.00 9.00
slap and tickle 4 12.00 4.00 0.00 9.00 26.00
perpendicular hula 4 12.00 4.00 0.00 0.00 35.00
rockin' wagon 4 12.00 4.00 0.00 0.00 35.00
papaya slung 2 6.00 3.00 13.00 13.00 0.00 8.67
flute of flat champagne 2 4.50 2.00 0.00 16.00 0.00 8.00
spiced rum 2 6.00 3.00 0.00 0.00 23.00 7.67
redrum 5.50 3.00 0.00 23.00 0.00
vodka and cranberry 4.50 3.00 0.00 23.00 0.00
tomato daiquiri 2 6.00 3.00 11.00 0.00 11.00 7.33
beertini 2 6.00 3.00 0.00 11.00 11.00
salty slug 2 6.00 3.00 0.00 11.00 11.00
papaya sling 5.00 3.00 22.00 0.00 0.00
extra-spicy bloody mary 3 7.50 3.00 7.00 7.00 7.00 7.00
around the world 4 12.00 4.00 (27.50)¹ (27.50)¹ (27.50)¹ 6.88
caipifruta 3 7.50 3.00 18.00 0.00 0.00 6.00
mimosette 3 7.50 3.00 18.00 0.00 0.00
teqiwila 3 7.50 3.00 18.00 0.00 0.00
whiskey bittersweet 3 7.50 3.00 18.00 0.00 0.00
gin and tonic 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 18.00 0.00
tequila sunset 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 18.00 0.00
vodka and tonic 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 18.00 0.00
zmobie (drink) 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 18.00 0.00
gibson 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 18.00
parisian cathouse 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 18.00
rabbit punch 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 18.00
vodka gibson 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 18.00
Thermos full of Knob coffee 6.50 1.00 5.50 5.50 5.50 5.50
shot of tomato schnapps 2.00 1.00 1.50 1.50 1.50 4.50
snifter of thoroughly aged brandy 4.00 2.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
flaming mushroom wine 6 12.00 3.00 13.50 0.00 0.00
icy mushroom wine 6 12.00 3.00 0.00 13.50 0.00
stinky mushroom wine 6 12.00 3.00 0.00 0.00 13.50
lumbering jack 5.50 3.00 0.00 12.50 0.00 4.17
shot of orange schnapps 2.00 1.00 4.00 0.00 0.00 4.00
shot of grapefruit schnapps 2.00 1.00 0.00 4.00 0.00
fine wine 2.00 1.00 0.00 0.00 4.00
white Canadian 4.50 3.00 11.00 0.00 0.00 3.67
rum and cola 4.00 3.00 0.00 0.00 11.00
whiskey and cola 5.50 3.00 0.00 5.00 5.00 3.33
flat mushroom wine 6 12.00 3.00 9.00 0.00 0.00 3.00
cool mushroom wine 6 12.00 3.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
pointy mushroom wine 6 12.00 3.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
grog 3 7.50 3.00 9.00 0.00 0.00
tequila with training wheels 3 7.50 3.00 9.00 0.00 0.00
old-fashioned 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
sangria 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
dry martini 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
dry vodka martini 3 7.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
margarita 5.50 3.00 9.00 0.00 0.00
screwdriver 5.50 3.00 9.00 0.00 0.00
tequila sunrise 5.50 3.00 9.00 0.00 0.00
whiskey sour 5.50 3.00 9.00 0.00 0.00
monkey wrench 5.50 3.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
salty dog 5.50 3.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
whiskey and soda 5.50 3.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
wine spritzer 5.50 3.00 0.00 9.00 0.00
martini 5.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
strawberry daiquiri 5.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
strawberry wine 5.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
vodka martini 5.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 9.00
bodyslam 6 24.00 6.00 18.00 0.00 0.00
grogtini 6 24.00 6.00 18.00 0.00 0.00
cherry bomb 6 24.00 6.00 0.00 18.00 0.00
sangria del diablo 6 24.00 6.00 0.00 18.00 0.00
dirty martini 6 24.00 6.00 0.00 0.00 18.00
vesper 6 24.00 6.00 0.00 0.00 18.00
knoll mushroom wine 11.50 3.00 5.00 0.00 0.00 1.67
knob mushroom wine 6 11.50 3.00 0.00 5.00 0.00
spooky mushroom wine 6 11.50 3.00 0.00 0.00 5.00
bloody mary 6 5.50 3.00 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50
Imp Ale 1.50 1.00 9.00 0.00 -17.00 -8.00

¹ The around the world only affects one stat at a time, chosen randomly.

Notes

  • Drinks that are unavailable, unimplemented, or non-stat-bestowing are excluded from the table above:
bloody beer, bottle of Calcutta Emerald, bottle of Definit, bottle of Domesticated Turkey, bottle of Jorge Sinsonte, bottle of Lieutenant Freeman, bottle of gin, bottle of popskull, bottle of rum, bottle of tequila, bottle of vodka, bottle of whiskey, boxed champagne, boxed wine, braincracker sweet, calle de miel with a fly in it, candycaine, cranmopolitan, ecto-nog, eggnogtini, fermented honey, flask of peppermint schnapps, gin, green beer, green eggnog, hot choculate, hot toady, ice-cold fotie, ice-cold Sir Schlitz, ice-cold Willer, Infinitesimal IPA, Mad Train wine, Mae West with a fly in it, mandarina colada with a fly in it, moons-shine, Mt. Noob Pale Ale, N. O. Beer, Otorian Battle Scar, perpendicular hula with a fly in it, Petite Porter, prussian cathouse with a fly in it, rockin' wagon with a fly in it, Scrawny Stout, shot of flower schnapps, slap and tickle with a fly in it, supermartini, tangarita with a fly in it, white lightning
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