Baseball bat
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a baseball batThis is a bat with the body of a baseball. And the heart of a bad pun.
Hit Message(s):
It bites you in the <ear>. No, trust me, it has a mouth. And it must scream. Oof! Ow! Argh!
It beans you in the head with its hard baseball body. Worse, you don't even get a free walk to first. Ouch! Ouch! Oof!
It beats on you, almost as if you were a brat. What can you do? What can you do with a bat like that, always on your back? Ooh! Ow!
It flaps around you, its piercing squeak making you dizzy and giving you a headache. Ugh! Argh! Ouch!
Critical Hit Message:
It flaps its wings furiously as it flies around the cave, picking up speed. It changes course and smashes into you one, two, three times. You're out! Out cold, that is. Ow!
Miss Message(s):
It tries to bite you in the <ear>, but doesn't have a mouth. It probably still must scream, though.
It tries to hit you with its baseball body, but strikes out.
It tries to beat on you like a brat, but you tell it that it's not your fault.
It squeaks a piercing squeak, but you're unphased.
Fumble Message:
It flies around the cave, picking up speed. It charges you, but before it can hit you, you strike it away from you and into a wall. Steeeerike!
  Meat | You gain 17-27 Meat. (average: 22.0, stdev: 2.2)* |
Occurs at Guano Junction.
References
- One hit text and one miss text refer to the short story "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream," by Harlan Ellison.
- One hit text and one miss text refer to the song "Beat on the Brat" by The Ramones.
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