Barrrnacle (familiar)

From TheKolWiki

• Regular message:

  <name> latches onto him and slows him down...

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

  <name> grips your slain foe's wallet tight in its tentacles and applies some suction.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

  <name> dances like a crustacean around the maypole.

• With wax lips equipped:

  <name> smiles almost as if he were a creature incapable of facial expressions who had some wax lips stuck on his shell.

Arena Messages

• When entered in an Ultimate Cage Match:

  Being completely immobile, <name> sucks at cage matches. Which is unsurprising, given that <name> sucks at pretty much everything.

Notes

• Acts at the beginning of a battle approximately (weight * 4.5) percent of the time, capped at 95%.
• Delevels by X/2, where X is the weight of the familiar.
• Can breathe underwater.

References

• The haiku may allude to a scene in the movie Wayne's World, in which Garth is getting his hair cut by a vacuum-mounted device, and screams, "It's sucking my will to live!"