Astral Badger

From TheKolWiki

• Regular messages:

  <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws for X damage. (X = floor(weight/2) - 5 to weight - 5)

  <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws for X damage. If only the monster had a "non-pandimensional claws clause" in his contract. (X = floor(weight/2) - 5 to weight - 5)

  <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws and bites him with his astral teeth for X damage. (X = floor(weight/2) to weight)

  <name> claws your opponent with his pan-dimensional claws and bites him with his astral teeth for X damage. Ladies and gentlemen, coming to the stage right now: ASTRAL TEETH! (X = floor(weight/2) to weight)

  <name> reaches into a higher plane and pulls out a snake! A snake! It's a snake! He throws the snake at your opponent, and the snake bites for X damage. It's a shame Samuel L. Jackson isn't around to see this. (X = floor(weight/2) + 10 to weight + 10)

• Every so often, up to five times a day:

  You hear a small *pop!* as <name> produces a rainbow-colored mushroom from... well, from somewhere. You couldn't really tell. He sniffs the mushroom, then tosses it away. You pick it up because, hey, free mushroom.

  astral mushroom

  You acquire an item: astral mushroom (25% chance)*

• With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:

  You witness the badger wink at you from beneath the Tam O'Shanter. Better to witness the badger than badger the witness, I always say.

• With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:

  You witness the badger do a very repetitive but catchy dance around the maypole. Better to witness the badger than badger the witness, I always say.

• With wax lips equipped:

  You witness the badger slightly shred the wax lips with his sharp teeth. Better to witness the badger than badger the witness, I always say.

[edit] Arena Messages

• When entered in a Scavenger Hunt:

  <name> is lousy at scavenger hunts. He can see hundreds of dimensions at once and is never sure in which one the hunt is taking place.

[edit] Notes

• Familiar of the month for June 2006.
• The badger attacks every round for at least one damage.
• The badger will use the claws-only attack 70% of the time, the claws+teeth 15% of the time, and the snake 15% of the time.
• After ascending, you can summon five more mushrooms that day.
• You can win astral mushrooms from each NS form.
• The doppelshifter can change into a badger and does drop mushrooms.
• If the Badger is adventuring in the Nearby Plains, you may get "It's a shame Samuel L. Jackson isn't around to see this." added at the end of an action performed in your turn. This is also true for the Battlefield.
• There exists a stuffed version of this familiar.
• This familiar is notable for being the only Mr. Store monthly special familiar to have an animated image.
• After roughly 1 minute, the arms of the badger will move up and down in the same way the badgers in Weebl's Badger Loop. (also see below)
• This is one of 10 familiars that are animated. The other 9 are: Cheshire Bat, Coffee Pixie Attention-Deficit Demon, Cymbal-Playing Monkey, Jitterbug, Nervous Tick, Casagnova Gnome, Hunchbacked Minion, and El Vibrato Megadrone

[edit] References

• The mushroom collection message, "because, hey, free mushroom" is based on a quote from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey: "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
• The Familiar's haiku references the 1968 song Journey to the Center of the Mind by the Amboy Dukes, of which Ted Nugent was a founding member.
• The entire badger/mushroom/snake deal is a reference to Weebl's Badger Loop... this includes "a snake! A snake! It's a snake!".
• After 1 minute, the badger's image dances for 5 seconds in the style seen in the Badger Loop video.
• The badger reaching into a higher plane to pull out a snake is a reference to the movie Snakes on a Plane, starring Samuel L. Jackson. The additional message about Samuel L. Jackson not being around to see it when adventuring in the Nearby Plains is also a reference, being a Snake on a Plain (from a plane), and apparent from the other end in the Higher Plane Serpents miss message and the Tomb asp fumble message.