Arc-Welding Elfborg
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a Arc-Welding ElfborgThis poor elf used to weld together all kinds of fun toys, like metal cars and roller skates. Now he's been assimilated by the Crimborg and had an arc-welder implanted onto his arm, so he can assemble all the Joans. Never mind, that was a pretty lousy joke. But let's not dwell on it, because there's a killer elfborg with an arc welder coming at you, and it doesn't look happy.
Hit Message(s):
It stomps on you with its big metal boots. That's no mean feat, but it sure is a pair of mean feet.
It welds your <nipple> to your <nipple>. At least it didn't weld a dog to your face or anything. Happy Crimbo!
It inserts a sub-cutaneous implant into your sensitive flesh. Irritating!
It crushes your <nipple> in its calipers. That's gonna leave a mark. Happy Crimbo! Ow! Oof! Ooh! Argh!
Critical Hit Message:
It swings its arc welder through the air. Electricity arcs from the tip through the top of your head, down your body, and out through the puddle you're standing in. Man, you really should have avoided that puddle. Ouch! Ow! Eek! Oof!
Miss Message(s):
It tries to weld a dog to your face, but you back away, thoroughly skeeved out.
It tries to stomp on you with its big metal boots, but you find its feet trivial, and dodging them a trivial feat.
It tries to crush you in its calipers, but you don't wanna be crushed, buried in fear, or left for tot.
It starts to attack again, but has to pause to download a service patch from the hivemind.
Fumble Message:
It stomps toward you, welder held high, but suddenly the tip of the welder goes dark. The elfbot looks back, embarrassed, and sees the cord has come unplugged.
Occurs at Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2007).
Reference
- Welding a dog to one's face likely refers to Dogwelder of Section 8.
- The miss description "It tries to crush you in its calipers, but you don't wanna be crushed, buried in fear, or left for tot" refers to MC Frontalot's collaboration with KOMPRESSOR, "Rappers We Crush."
- The description bit mentioning Joan is a reference to Joan of Arc.
- The third attack message probably refers to the movie Star Trek: First Contact, in which the Emergency Medical Hologram reveals that Borg implants cause "severe skin irritation".
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