|Locations||every 25-35 adventures on Talk Like a Pirate Day from IV onwards|
|Hit Points||Equal to player HP|
|Attack||Scales with player stats|
|Defense||Scales with player stats|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
This be a pirate who long ago gave up his sea legs to wander the highways and byways of the Kingdom, roaming the earth until he gets the saltwater out of his veins and the sea out of his hearrrrt. Not a man jack be sure why he did it -- maybe he was tired of the rum, the lash, or that other thing -- I can't quite bring to mind what it be.
Anyway, he be no less likely than any other bilge rat to cut your throat and your purse strings, so be on guarrrd.
He pegs ye in the leg with his pegleg.
He ambulates all over ye. Ye should call an ambulance.
He punches ye in the <ear>. It wouldn't hurt, except he used his hook hand.
He cuts ye into cutlets with his cutlass.
He says, "Ah, this be the life for me. The fresh air, the dry earth, the bleeding adventurers --" Hang on, what was that last bit?
He tries to peg ye in the leg with his pegleg, but you've read enough Dan Savage to know to avoid that.
He tries to ambulate all over you, but you perambulate away.
He tries to knock your legs out from under ye, but ye keeps your legs where they need be.
He tries to punch ye, but gets his hook hand stuck in the wall behind ye. Did I mention the wall behind ye?
He tries to cut ye with his cutlass, but it won't cut, alas.
He says, "Ye know, I feel a yearn within me for that harsh mistress, the sea. Mayhap I should return to the salty brine." You thank him for sharing. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: can of Binarrrca (? chance)*|
|You acquire an item: black spot (? chance)*|
Occurs on Talk Like a Pirate Day at normal adventure locations.
- The miss message is a reference to the sex advice columnist Dan Savage and his creation and popularization of the term "pegging".
- The monster description refers to the famous characterization of the traditions of the British navy, widely misattributed to Sir Winston Churchill: "rum, sodomy and the lash".