Actually Ed the Undying

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Actually Ed the Undying is the Spring 2015 special challenge path, introduced on February 15, 2015. This path adds variant rules and restrictions to an ascension run. Its description in The Bureau of Reincarnation reads, "Ed the Undying is back -- not that he ever left, really -- and he is super annoyed with a certain adventurer who stole something from him. Recover his/your property (yes, the perspective shift is even more confusing than usual on this one) with ancient curses, powerful spells, mummified servants, and the jackal-headed demons of the Underworld."

Ed is a mysticality class with a suite of new skills. Defeat in combat takes Ed to the Underworld, where he can purchase upgrades and consumables. He uses servants instead of familiars, has no campground access, no access to permed skills, and a limited (but expandable) ability to ingest things.


  • You cannot eat food or drink booze without the necessary upgrades and Spleen capacity is reduced to 5.
    • You can't eat any food without buying a Replacement Stomach from The Underworld. Trying to do so yields:
      You don't have the stomach for it. Literally, you don't have a stomach.
      • This message also appears if you try to eat something that is size 6 or larger.
    • The Feast of Boris does not grant additional fullness:
      Today is the Feast of Boris.
    • You can't drink any booze without buying a Replacement Liver from The Underworld. Trying to do yields:
      You have a zero tolerance policy about alcohol, which is to say that your alcohol tolerance is zero.
    • You can't drink more than usual on St. Sneaky Pete's Day.
    • If you have enabled the "Display Fullness Counter (WARNING: Not funny.)" option, you will also have a Spleen (Toxicity) counter displayed automatically.
    • Upon completing the path, your Spleen capacity will be set to 15, your Stomach capacity will be increased to 15, and your Liver capacity will be increased to 14. Your current Toxicity, Fullness and Drunkenness levels are retained. The Toxicity display (if enabled) is removed from the left pane.
  • You cannot restore HP from most sources (including Pungent Unguent, Chateau Mantegna, Deck's Healing Salve and A Relaxing Hot Tub). Trying to do yields (item is consumed):
    You gain no hit points.
  • Attempting to have Doc Galaktik's Curative Nostrum takes your meat and adds:
    You gain no hit points.
    Hmm. This man's mortal remedies don't seem to do much for your ancient and dessicated husk.
  • You can't use BRICKO monsters. Trying to do yields:
    You're not sure how to play with this new fangled toy. In fact, you even pre-date the ball and the stick.


  • No access to any skills that you may have permed, including books on Your Mystical Bookshelf.
  • You can't use skill books.
    Ed only reads hieroglyphics.


  • You will not be accepted into any of the traditional guilds. You will not be able to use a guild to unlock any quests or areas.
    You're not sure you want to mingle with guild commoners.


  • No familiars are available; instead, the player must hire servants.
  • Attempting to use a familiar hatchling gives the following message:
You don't know what to do with that weird little creature.
  • Attempting to select a familiar (using the /familiar, /fam, or /goto familiar.php chat commands) gives the following message:
Ed already has more than enough servants.


  • You begin the run with the expository adventure Actually Ed the Undying (adventure)‎ and receive your weapon, the Staff of Ed.
  • Attempting to bring an astral hot dog dinner or astral six-pack during reincarnation yields the following warning:
    Your purchase from the Deli may not be appropriate with this path. (Ed may not have the organs to consume food and booze.) Are you sure that's what you want?
    • This is despite that you can acquire organ space to accommodate both consumables during the run.
  • Attempting to bring an astral pet sweater during reincarnation yields the following warning:
    Ed predates familiar companions, do you really want to take that astral pet?
  • Attempting to bring an astral shirt during reincarnation yields the following warning:
    Ed predates the invention of shirts, do you really want to take that astral pet?
  • Actually Ed the Undying cannot be dropped from the Options menu. Attempting to do so yields the following message:
You can't just stop being Ed.
  • Getting Beaten Up in combat results in a trip to The Underworld, healing you completely and removing negative status effects (except Once-Cursed, Twice-Cursed, and Thrice-Cursed). (Reaching 0 HP outside of combat simply leaves you unable to adventure anywhere until you use healing bandages purchased from Everything Under the World or visit The Underworld manually to heal.) If this happens during combat, you can then return to the fight:
    • Returning the first 2 times is free.
    • Returning more than 2 times to the same monster costs Ka coins; first time 1, and increasing exponentially (2,4,8...), capped at 32.
    • Alternatively, you can skip the fight at a 1 adventure cost to return to your tomb.
    • Most monsters will have the same status they had when you died, but the Clan of cave bars will heal back to full health each time.
    • This resurrection will not occur if you lose during The Tunnel of L.O.V.E. combats.
  • Going to the Underworld from your tomb always costs an adventure to return.
    • If you don't have any adventures left, you cannot go to the Underworld (not even to buy spleen items for more adventures!).

Items of the Month


Rather than playing any of the traditional 6 classes, you will play as Ed, with entirely different skills.


  • The Campground is not available. Instead, A Small Pyramid takes you to Your Tomb.
    • Since you cannot enter the Campground, you cannot use your Garden, Workshed, Telescope, etc.
      • Upon completing the path, your Garden will have grown, untended, for however many days the run took.
    • You can install appliances to Your Kitchen even though you can't see it.
    • You can install a meat maid but you won't benefit from it.
    • You can use your closet by typing "/go closet", or by using the "/closet" and "/uncloset" commands.
  • If you get Beaten Up in combat or go into A Portal to the Underworld in Your Tomb, you will be taken to The Underworld.
  • Instead of the Magical Mystical Hippy Stone, A Stone Shrine in The Underworld serves the same function.
    • Upon completing the path, if you broke the Stone Shrine, your Hippy Stone will also be broken.
  • The Barrel full of Barrels is available (as of September 20, 2015) (it was unavailable before an update - unclear which one, probably the one on September 08, 2015, or possibly the one on August 25, 2015)
  • The Bugbear Pens are available, but as Ed cannot equip any familiars (including Gravy Fairies), The Spooky Gravy Burrow is not available.
  • Whitey's Grove isn't available.
  • Desert Beach is accessible from the start.
  • The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert and An Oasis are unlocked from the start.
  • The combat zones in A Small Pyramid are not available.
  • Pandamonium proper is inaccessible. Instead The Deep Fat Friars' Gate lets you fight monsters from Pandamonium Slums instead.
    • As a result, you also cannot gain an Organ of Steel.
    • The sparkly post-quest Friars' Gate will initiate a combat when you click on it, even though it does not have (1) in its label.
  • A hulking bridge troll guards The Orc Chasm.
  • The giant beanstalk on the Nearby Plains is already planted. However, you cannot climb it until you have started the level 10 quest:
    For some reason, there's a giant beanstalk growing in the Plains. Like, really giant -- it goes straight up into the clouds.

    It looks climbable, but... why would you do that? You'd just get all tired, and for what? Clouds? Pfft.
  • Ed gets the crappy non-choice noncombats in Barrrney's Barrr (the same ones received by Teetotalers et al.).
  • An Old Man, and therefore The Sea, is not available:
    That shack you saw on the main map was just a picture of a shack drawn on the ground.
  • Clan basements are completely locked out:
    Your clan has a basement, but the only dark, dank hole in the ground you want to visit is your own tomb.
  • You cannot use grimstone masks:
    Ed has no interest in those masks. The stories are all after his time.



Your avatar is replaced by one of the following (based on how much HP you have):
Ed av1.gif Ed av2.gif Ed av3.gif Ed av4.gif Ed av5.gif Ed av6.gif Ed av7.gif


You begin with one skill: Exclam.gif Mild Curse - combat skill dealing a small amount of spooky damage.

Instead of purchasing skills, you learn them from The Book of the Undying in Your Tomb. You may learn skills from 3 trees: Invocations, Evocations and Curses. Each skill costs one skill point to learn, regardless of rank.

You begin with 1 skill point, plus 1 point for each normal (softcore) Actually Ed the Undying ascension completed, and 2 points for each hardcore Actually Ed the Undying ascension completed. You gain 1 additional skill point every level, except on levels divisible by 3. Level 14 is the last level that will grant a skill point from level-up, which means that your first Actually Ed the Undying ascension will only have a maximum of 10 skills without the use of any talisman of Seshats.

You cannot skip ranks within a skill tree. In order to learn a 3rd-rank skill, you must first learn the 1st-rank and 2nd-rank skills from that same tree, and so on.

Tome of the Dead

Rank Invocations Evocations Curses
Name Type Effect Name Type Effect Name Type Effect
1 Seshat.gif
Prayer of Seshat
5 MP
+3 Mysticality Stats Per Fight Krakfist.gif
Fist of the Mummy
5 MP
Physical attack spell Marshmallow.gif
Curse of the Marshmallow
2 MP
Reduces enemy attack and defence
2 Thoth.gif
Wisdom of Thoth
5 MP
Mysticality +10
Mysticality +50%
Howl of the Jackal
10 MP
Spooky attack spell Confused.gif
Curse of Indecision
5 MP
Stuns opponent
3 Heka.gif
Power of Heka
10 MP
Spell Damage +20
+10% Chance of Spell Critical Hit
Spell Damage +50%
Roar of the Lion
15 MP
Powerful hot attack spell Gooball.gif
Curse of Yuck
5 MP
Damages opponent over time
4 Sobek.gif
Hide of Sobek
Damage Absorption +50
Damage Reduction 5
Slight Resistance to All Elements
Storm of the Scarab
All-elements attack spell Familytree.gif
Curse of Heredity
10 MP
Poisons enemy
5 Serqet.gif
Blessing of Serqet
+20 Monster Level Blackcat2.gif
Purr of the Feline
10 MP
Makes Ed's Servants Stronger Kacoin.gif
Curse of Fortune
1 Ka coin
Spend a Ka to give your enemy more Meat
6 Shed item.gif
Shelter of Shed
15 MP
Lowers combat rate by 20% Cobrahead.gif
Lash of the Cobra
12 MP
Low physical damage plus pickpocket Jetplane.gif
Curse of Vacation
30 MP
Banish a monster for the rest of the day
7 Renenutet.gif
Bounty of Renenutet
20 MP
+50% Item Drops from Monsters Sun2.gif
Wrath of Ra
40 MP
Vaporizes enemies Stench.gif
Curse of Stench
35 MP

Upon completing the path, all of your Invocation effects are removed (but regular effects are retained), and all Ed-specific skills are lost, except Mild Curse, which can be made permanent.

Ka coins

Ed's jackal demons harvest the souls of his enemies, paying him Ka coins. These are used as currency in The Underworld, allowing you to buy spare body parts and special items. The coins are 100% drops from everything that has them, while the number of coins depends on the phylum of the monster:

With The Crown of Ed the Undying equipped, there's a small chance of gaining 1 coin when fighting an Undead monster.

Body Upgrades

Purchased at The Underworld Body Shop with Ka coins. The full set of upgrades costs a total of 365 Ka. Note that any skills requiring a prerequisite will stack with the prerequisite. (This means you can gain a total of 6 extra spleens for 30 extra spleen capacity, 2 sets of legs for +100% combat initiative, and 3 elemental wards for a total of 6 levels of elemental resistance.)

Name Price Effect Prerequisite
Stomach.gif Replacement Stomach 30 +5 stomach capacity
Liver.gif Replacement Liver 30 +5 liver capacity
Woim.gif Extra Spleen 5 +5 spleen capacity
Woim.gif Another Extra Spleen 10 +5 spleen capacity Extra Spleen
Woim.gif Yet Another Extra Spleen 15 +5 spleen capacity Another Extra Spleen
Woim.gif Still Another Extra Spleen 20 +5 spleen capacity Yet Another Extra Spleen
Woim.gif Just One More Extra Spleen 25 +5 spleen capacity Still Another Extra Spleen
Woim.gif Okay Seriously, This is the Last Spleen 30 +5 spleen capacity Just One More Extra Spleen
Edlegs.gif Upgraded Legs 10 +50% Combat Initiative
Edlegs.gif More Legs 20 +50% Combat Initiative Upgraded Legs
Edarms.gif Upgraded Arms 20 +50% Muscle
Clspine.gif Upgraded Spine 20 +50% Moxie
Hskin.gif Tougher Skin 10 +100 Damage Absorption
Chitinpod.gif Armor Plating 10 +10 Damage Reduction
Spikebone.gif Bone Spikes 20 +10 physical damage and injures attackers
Spine.gif Arm Blade 20 +5 physical damage and +20% critical hit chance
Chocscarab.gif Healing Scarabs 10 2-4 HP regeneration per adventure
Henna.gif Elemental Wards 10 +1 resistance to all elements
Henna.gif More Elemental Wards 20 +2 resistance to all elements Elemental Wards
Henna.gif Even More Elemental Wards 30 +3 resistance to all elements More Elemental Wards


At level 3 and every 3 levels afterwards until level 15, you may release a servant from The Servants' Quarters.

Servants can only gain experience from combats (1 exp per fight) or from imbuements (100 exp per imbuement). A servant's base level is equivalent to the square root of their experience or (level = experience1/2). Servants are not familiars, and are not effected by items that grant bonus familiar weight or extra experience.

Servants gain new abilities at levels 7 (49 exp) and 14 (196 exp), and teach you something at level 21 (441 exp).

Servants may be strengthened by Purr of the Feline, which increases their effective level by 5. Familiars can use their higher abilities at a lower weight, requiring level 2 (4 exp) for their second ability, and level 9 (81 exp) to use their third ability. However Purr of the Feline will not speed up the final bonus, as familiars will not teach you their skill until they actually reach level 21.

Ed will begin to accumulate servant imbuements once he has enough skill points to learn all the spells in the Tome of the Dead. Ed will gain imbuements at the same rate as skill points, earning one every level non-divisible by 3, capped at a total of 10.

Only one servant may be active at a time. Inactive servants retain their levels while "Freed, but Lazy".

Servant Level 1 ability Level 7 ability Level 14 ability Level 21 ability
(Servant Gift)
Edserv1.gif Cat Gives unpleasant gifts Helps find items Lowers enemy stats Edserv1.gif Gift of the Cat
+25% Item Drops from Monsters
Edserv2.gif Belly-Dancer Lowers enemy stats Restores MP Picks pockets Edserv2.gif Gift of the Dancer
Regenerate 4-8 MP per Adventure
Edserv3.gif Maid Helps find meat Attacks enemies Prevents enemy attacks Edserv3.gif Gift of the Maid
+50% Meat from Monsters
Edserv4.gif Bodyguard Prevents enemy attacks Attacks enemies Attacks enemies even when guarding Edserv4.gif Gift of the Bodyguard
Damage Absorption +200
Edserv5.gif Scribe Improves stat gains Improves spell crit Improves spell damage Edserv5.gif Gift of the Scribe
+5 Mysticality Stats Per Fight
Edserv6.gif Priest Attacks undead enemies Improves evocation spells Improves Ka drops Edserv6.gif Gift of the Priest
Spell Damage +40
Edserv7.gif Assassin Attacks enemies Lowers enemy stats Staggers enemies Edserv7.gif Gift of the Assassin
Weapon Damage +10
+30% chance of Critical Hit



  • This seems to be where all the local adventurers live. Unfortunately, there's way too many campsites for you to be able to find <playername>'s in any reasonable amount of time. Which is a pity, because you'd really love to take a dump on his bed.
    It's probably just as well. It's been so long since you did that, you're not even sure you remember how.
    Perhaps you want to visit your pyramid.

Council Text

See The Council of Loathing/Actually Ed the Undying.


See Actually Ed the Undying/Strategy for tips & strategies.


  • In your first run as Actually Ed the Undying, opening the letter to Ed the Undying unlocks a new class tattoo. There is also an additional tattoo available upon completion of a hardcore run as an Actually Ed the Undying.
  • Mild Curse is permable for use in non-Ed ascensions.
  • Finishing an Actually Ed the Undying ascension gives you a thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette.
  • Finishing an Ed ascension while it was the current challenge path (February 15, 2015 to May 14, 2015) gave you a still-beating spleen.
  • You do not get any stainless steel, polyester, or porcelain equipment.


  • The path name is a play on the previous yearly "Avatar of" paths, as this time, you play not as an avatar, but actually the specific character referenced.


  • Ed was immune to drunken stupor for the first 24 hours (roughly) of the path.
  • Servants did not teach anything at Level 21 until a fix in February 19, 2015.
  • Ed's starting skill, Mild Curse, was made permable on March 11, 2015.
  • Servant imbuements were not a thing before February 23, 2015.
  • While the path was in-season, dying to an ultra-rare would not give a ribbon for the first death, but would award one on all subsequent deaths. This unintended behavior has been fixed since then.
  • Prior to November 5th, 2018, Actually Ed the Undying could be dropped, presumably after the same 3 days as previous Avatar paths. This was changed due to conflicts with the new Macguffin quest being impossible to complete if the path is dropped at the wrong time.
    • Actually Ed the Undying is, in fact, the only challenge path that cannot be dropped.
Ascension Paths
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Teetotaler Boozetafarian Oxygenarian
Special Challenge Paths
Spring Summer Fall Winter
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Way of the Surprising Fist
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Zombie Slayer
Class Act
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Avatar of Jarlsberg
Class Act II: A Class For Pigs
2014 Bigglasses.gif
Avatar of Sneaky Pete
Slow and Steady
Heavy Rains
2015 Scarab.gif
Actually Ed the Undying
One Crazy Random Summer
Community Service
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The Source
Nuclear Autumn
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Gelatinous Noob
License to Adventure
Live. Ascend. Repeat.
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Pocket Familiars
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Disguises Delimit
2019 Darkgift.gif
Dark Gyffte
Two Crazy Random Summer
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Not released yet