Accordion Thief/Old

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Male Female Tattoo Hardcore Tattoo Hardcore Oxygenarian Tattoo Legendary Regalia Tattoo Legendary Regalia Female Legendary Regalia Male

The Accordion Thief class skill system was revamped on October 31, 2013. The following is an archive of the class page prior to the change.


  • (Male) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the ladies."
  • (Female) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the gentlemen."


Most Accordion Thief skills are learned from The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts. All Accordion Thieves begin the game with Moxie of the Mariachi and Sing. Accordion Thieves can also learn special skills from sheet music dropped by the Hobopolis bosses.

Level Skill Description Effect Type MP Cost Train Cost
0 Accordion.gif
Moxie of the Mariachi
By diligently practicing playing the accordion at your campsite, you can channel the Moxie of the Mariachi -- your Moxie and Maximum HP will increase for a period of time. Mariachi Mood
(+1 Moxie, +3 HP)
(5 Adventures)
Non-combat 1 N/A
0 Breath.gif
You know that thing from old commercials where somebody sings and breaks a champagne glass? This skill lets you do that, except with skulls. Deals 2-3 damage on use, and 2-3 damage for the following two rounds. Combat 0 N/A
1 Madrigal.gif
The Moxious Madrigal
Hearing this song will fill you (or somebody else) with great Moxie. The Moxious Madrigal
(+10 Moxie)
(X Adventures)
Buff 2 250 Meat
2 Mojomusc.gif
The Magical Mojomuscular Melody
This song will attune you (or somebody else) with your (or somebody else's) spirituality (hippy) and increase your (or somebody else's) Mysticality and maximum MP. Magical Mojomuscular Melody
(+10 Mysticality and +20 MP)
(X Adventures)
Buff 3 500 Meat
3 Celerity.gif
Cletus's Canticle of Celerity
Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will begin to move very quickly, and with improved combat reaction times. Cletus's Canticle of Celerity
(+20% Combat Initiative)
(X Adventures)
Buff 4 1000 Meat
4 Arrowsmith.gif
The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith
This song will fill you (or somebody else) with passionate intensity, and great Strengthliness. Your (or somebody else's) Muscle and maximum HP will be increased. Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith
(+10 Muscle and +20 HP)
(X Adventures)
Buff 5 1500 Meat
5 Plenty.gif
The Polka of Plenty
This song will fill you (or somebody else) with greed, and make more Meat drop from monsters in combat. Polka of Plenty
(+50% Meat from Monsters)
(X Adventures)
Buff 7 2500 Meat
6 Jackasses.gif
Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction
This horrible song will make whoever hears it very angry. And anger, in this case, will correspond with increased melee, ranged and spell damage. Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction
(+12 Weapon and Spell Damage)
(X Adventures)
Buff 9 3500 Meat
7 Fatleons.gif
Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric
Upon hearing this song, the listener will be imbued with superior looting skills - monsters will drop items more frequently in combat. Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric
(+20% Items from Monsters)
(X Adventures)
Buff 11 5000 Meat
8 Brawnees.gif
Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption
Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will gain a strange absorbency. Monsters will do less damage to you (or somebody else) in combat. Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption
(floor(level1.2) Damage Reduction)
(X Adventures)
Buff 13 6500 Meat
9 Psalm.gif
The Psalm of Pointiness
And lo, unto the audience shall be conjured an aura of pointiness, and verily shalt those who attack the audience be poked as though with legion pointy objects. Psalm of Pointiness
(Delevels 1 to 5 Monster Level and causes 4-8 enemy damage when player is hit)
(X Adventures)
Buff 15 8000 Meat
10 Superiority.gif
Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority
This song will impart upon its listener a sense of righteous indignation. This indignation will manifest as a 10% increase in all of the listener's stats. Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority
(+10% to All Attributes)
(X Adventures)
Buff 30 10000 Meat
11 Antiphon.gif
Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude
This song makes it so you (or another player) learn more from your combat experiences, and gain more stats from battles. Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude
(+1 Fortitude, +1 Magicalness, +1 Chutzpah per fight)
(X Adventures)
Buff 40 12500 Meat
12 Odetobooze.gif
The Ode to Booze
This is the best song ever. Whoever hears this song will gain a remarkable ability to drink, and will gain more adventures from alcoholic beverages. Ode to Booze
(+1 Adventure per drunkenness gained)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 15000 Meat
13 Sonata.gif
The Sonata of Sneakiness
Hearing this song will imbue the listener with astounding obfuscative abilities, and make them less likely to encounter monsters while adventuring. The Sonata of Sneakiness
(Reduces Combat Frequency)
(X Adventures)
Buff 20 20000 Meat
14 Cantata.gif
Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation
Hearing this song will increase the listener's production of anger pheromones. Monsters will be more attracted to them. Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation
(Increases Combat Frequency)
(X Adventures)
Buff 20 25000 Meat
15 Urkels.gif
Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance
This song generates an aura of intense annoyingness around anyone who hears it. The aura makes monsters want to hit the possessor much, much harder. Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance
(+2 Monster Level per level of listener)
(X Adventures)
Buff 30 30000 Meat
Spookyraven Manor Quest Skill
N/A Dirge.gif
Dirge of Dreadfulness
This song is depressing. Not in a melancholy, I-haven't-heard-this- since-way-back-when way, but in a soul-crushing hopelessness way. Seriously. Sad, sad song. Dirge of Dreadfulness
(+12 Spooky Damage)
(+12 Damage to Spooky Spells)
(X Adventures)
Buff 9 N/A
Hobopolis Skills
N/A Richie.gif
The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
This song tells the story of Richie Thingfinder, the luckiest hobo in the world. Playing this for somebody is sure to rub some of that luck off onto them, making them more likely to find items and Meat. The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
(+50% Meat from Monsters)
(+20% Items from Monsters)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Medley.gif
Benetton's Medley of Diversity
This medley teaches an important lesson -- that monsters come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, but in the big picture, they're all equally evil. Benetton's Medley of Diversity
(+15 Hot, Cold, Stench, Sleaze, and Spooky damage)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Etude.gif
Elron's Explosive Etude
Playing this song for somebody will fill their head with unstable magic energy, making their spells far more powerful than they would ordinarily be. And far more delicious. Elron's Explosive Etude
(+50% Spell Damage)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Chorale.gif
Chorale of Companionship
Playing this song for somebody will depress them, but make them value their familiars more. Chorale of Companionship
(+10 to Familiar weight)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Prelude.gif
Prelude of Precision
Playing this song for somebody will set their head a-buzzing, and steady their hands, making them more likely to get critical hits with weapons. Prelude of Precision
(+10% Critical Hit Chance)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
Sea Floor Skill
N/A Bubblyballad.gif
Donho's Bubbly Ballad
Why does this song make you feel so light, and so airy? I donho. Donho's Bubbly Ballad
(20% underwater penalty reduction)
(X Adventures)
Buff 75 N/A
Crimbo '09 Skill
N/A Curative.gif
Cringle's Curative Carol
Dr. Cringle believed that music was the best medicine. Dr. Cringle also set the world record for lost malpractice suits. Cringle's Curative Carol
(Regenerate 5-10 HP per Adventure)
(X Adventures)
Buff 5 N/A
The Traveling Trader Skill
N/A Incantation.gif
Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
This song was written by the son of a legendary swordsmith. It is said that it will inspire its listeners to great heights of craftiness. Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
(Lets you craft things more quickly)
(X Adventures)
Buff 100 N/A


The amount of Moxie required to attain level L follows the formula Moxie = L2 - 2L+ 5.

Class-Specific Powers

Class Gear


An accordion is required to cast Accordion Thief songs. Only two accordions can be used by non-Accordion Thieves. The accordion used determines the number of adventures granted per cast:


  • Many Accordion Thieves use their high moxie stat to plink their foes to death.
  • All Accordion Thieves (and Disco Bandits) started with the skill Moxious Maneuver before it was removed from the game on May 22, 2013.


  • Polka and Zydeco are folk musical styles that typically incorporate accordions. Mariachi is a similar folk musical style, but which typically does not use accordions.
  • "Squeezebox" and "button box" are slang names for the accordion. A concertina is a similar button-operated bellows reed instrument. A hurdy gurdy is a button-operated violin, which contains strings instead of reeds. A trikitixa is a Basque accordion (which is, oddly enough, named after the sound made by its usual accompaniment, a tambourine).
  • The large amount of titles with prefixes before you reach Accordion Thief (10-15) refers to Dungeons & Dragons (1st Edition), and the tendency to have large prefixed level titles for almost all classes.
Seal Clubber
Turtle Tamer
Disco Bandit
Accordion Thief