Accordion Thief

Description

• (Male:) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the ladies."
• (Female:) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the gentlemen."

Skills

Most Accordion Thief skills are learned from The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts. All Accordion Thieves begin with the free skills Moxie of the Mariachi and Sing. Completing the Spookyraven Manor Quest grants you the Dirge of Dreadfulness skill. Additionally, Accordion Thieves can learn special skills from sheet music dropped by the Hobopolis elemental bosses.

Accordion Thief buffs are different from other effects: ordinarily you may only have three of them active at once (see here for exceptions). Note that this only applies to Buffs and not to the other types of skills such as Moxie of the Mariachi.

You must have an accordion in your inventory in order to cast Accordion Thief Buffs. Better accordions provide longer-lasting buffs. For details, see Songs section on this page.

At Level 9 or higher, Accordion Thieves who can access The Shadowy Store in The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts are also able to shop at The Smacketeria in The Brotherhood of the Smackdown and Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery in The League of Chef-Magi, although only the magical mystery juice, the delectable catalyst, the kickback cookbook, the enchanted brass knuckles, Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs, the cheap wind-up clock, and the blood of the Wereseal are usable by the class. Magical mystery juice is highly popular for fueling the buffs of the class.

Accordion Thieves (as well as Disco Bandits) begin the game with the free skill Moxious Maneuver, a combat skill which uses Moxie to determine hit chance and damage and costs an amount of MP equal to their current level. Also, like Disco Bandits, Accordion Thieves have the ability to pickpocket, giving them the option to try to steal an item when they get the jump on a monster.

Level	Skill	Description	Effect	Type	MP Cost	Train Cost
0	Moxie of the Mariachi	By diligently practicing playing the accordion at your campsite, you can channel the Moxie of the Mariachi -- your Moxie and Maximum HP will increase for a period of time.	Mariachi Mood (+1 Moxie, +3 HP) (5 Adventures)	Non-combat	1	N/A
0	Sing	You know that thing from old commercials where somebody sings and breaks a champagne glass? This skill lets you do that, except with skulls.	Deals 2-3 damage on use, and 2-3 damage for the following two rounds.	Combat	0	N/A
1	The Moxious Madrigal	Hearing this song will fill you (or somebody else) with great Moxie.	The Moxious Madrigal (+10 Moxie) (X Adventures)	Buff	2	250 Meat
2	The Magical Mojomuscular Melody	This song will attune you (or somebody else) with your (or somebody else's) spirituality (hippy) and increase your (or somebody else's) Mysticality and maximum MP.	Magical Mojomuscular Melody (+10 Mysticality and +20 MP) (X Adventures)	Buff	3	500 Meat
3	Cletus's Canticle of Celerity	Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will begin to move very quickly, and with improved combat reaction times.	Cletus's Canticle of Celerity (+20% Combat Initiative) (X Adventures)	Buff	4	1000 Meat
4	The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith	This song will fill you (or somebody else) with passionate intensity, and great Strengthliness. Your (or somebody else's) Muscle and maximum HP will be increased.	Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith (+10 Muscle and +20 HP) (X Adventures)	Buff	5	1500 Meat
5	The Polka of Plenty	This song will fill you (or somebody else) with greed, and make more Meat drop from monsters in combat.	Polka of Plenty (+50% Meat from Monsters) (X Adventures)	Buff	7	2500 Meat
6	Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction	This horrible song will make whoever hears it very angry. And anger, in this case, will correspond with increased melee, ranged and spell damage.	Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction (+12 Weapon and Spell Damage) (X Adventures)	Buff	9	3500 Meat
7	Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric	Upon hearing this song, the listener will be imbued with superior looting skills - monsters will drop items more frequently in combat.	Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric (+20% Items from Monsters) (X Adventures)	Buff	11	5000 Meat
8	Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption	Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will gain a strange absorbency. Monsters will do less damage to you (or somebody else) in combat.	Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption (floor(level1.2) Damage Reduction) (X Adventures)	Buff	13	6500 Meat
9	The Psalm of Pointiness	And lo, unto the audience shall be conjured an aura of pointiness, and verily shalt those who attack the audience be poked as though with legion pointy objects.	Psalm of Pointiness (Delevels 1 to 5 Monster Level and causes 4-8 enemy damage when player is hit) (X Adventures)	Buff	15	8000 Meat
10	Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority	This song will impart upon its listener a sense of righteous indignation. This indignation will manifest as a 10% increase in all of the listener's stats.	Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority (+10% to All Attributes) (X Adventures)	Buff	30	10000 Meat
11	Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude	This song makes it so you (or another player) learn more from your combat experiences, and gain more stats from battles.	Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude (+1 Strengthliness, +1 Enchantedness, +1 Chutzpah per fight) (X Adventures)	Buff	40	12500 Meat
12	The Ode to Booze	This is the best song ever. Whoever hears this song will gain a remarkable ability to drink, and will gain more adventures from alcoholic beverages.	Ode to Booze (+1 Adventure per drunkenness gained) (X Adventures)	Buff	50	15000 Meat
13	The Sonata of Sneakiness	Hearing this song will imbue the listener with astounding obfuscative abilities, and make them less likely to encounter monsters while adventuring.	The Sonata of Sneakiness (Reduces Combat Frequency) (X Adventures)	Buff	20	20000 Meat
14	Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation	Hearing this song will increase the listener's production of anger pheromones. Monsters will be more attracted to them.	Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation (Increases Combat Frequency) (X Adventures)	Buff	20	25000 Meat
15	Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance	This song generates an aura of intense annoyingness around anyone who hears it. The aura makes monsters want to hit the possessor much, much harder.	Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance (+2 Monster Level per level of listener) (X Adventures)	Buff	30	30000 Meat
Spookyraven Manor Quest Skill
N/A	Dirge of Dreadfulness	This song is depressing. Not in a melancholy, I-haven't-heard-this- since-way-back-when way, but in a soul-crushing hopelessness way. Seriously. Sad, sad song.	Dirge of Dreadfulness (+12 Spooky Damage) (+12 Damage to Spooky Spells) (X Adventures)	Buff	9	N/A
Hobopolis Skills
N/A	The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder	This song tells the story of Richie Thingfinder, the luckiest hobo in the world. Playing this for somebody is sure to rub some of that luck off onto them, making them more likely to find items and Meat.	The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder (+50% Meat from Monsters) (+20% Items from Monsters) (X Adventures)	Buff	50	N/A
N/A	Benetton's Medley of Diversity	This medley teaches an important lesson -- that monsters come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, but in the big picture, they're all equally evil.	Benetton's Medley of Diversity (+15 Hot, Cold, Stench, Sleaze, and Spooky damage) (X Adventures)	Buff	50	N/A
N/A	Elron's Explosive Etude	Playing this song for somebody will fill their head with unstable magic energy, making their spells far more powerful than they would ordinarily be. And far more delicious.	Elron's Explosive Etude (+50% Spell Damage) (X Adventures)	Buff	50	N/A
N/A	Chorale of Companionship	Playing this song for somebody will depress them, but make them value their familiars more.	Chorale of Companionship (+10 to Familiar weight) (X Adventures)	Buff	50	N/A
N/A	Prelude of Precision	Playing this song for somebody will set their head a-buzzing, and steady their hands, making them more likely to get critical hits with weapons.	Prelude of Precision (+10% Critical Hit Chance) (X Adventures)	Buff	50	N/A
Sea Floor Skill
N/A	Donho's Bubbly Ballad	Why does this song make you feel so light, and so airy? I donho.	Donho's Bubbly Ballad (20% underwater penalty reduction) (X Adventures)	Buff	75	N/A
Crimbo '09 Skill
N/A	Cringle's Curative Carol	Dr. Cringle believed that music was the best medicine. Dr. Cringle also set the world record for lost malpractice suits.	Cringle's Curative Carol (Regenerate 5-10 HP per Adventure) (X Adventures)	Buff	5	N/A
The Traveling Trader Skill
N/A	Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration	This song was written by the son of a legendary swordsmith. It is said that it will inspire its listeners to great heights of craftiness.	Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (Lets you craft things more quickly) (X Adventures)	Buff	100	N/A

Levels

The amount of Moxie required to attain level L follows the formula Moxie = L² - 2L+ 5.

Class Gear

• Accordion Thieves start with mariachi pants and a stolen accordion in their inventory.
• The Accordion Thief's Epic Weapon is the Rock and Roll Legend.
• The Accordion Thief's Legendary Epic Weapon is the Squeezebox of the Ages.
• The Accordion Thief's Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon is The Trickster's Trikitixa.
• The Accordion Thief's Epic Hat is El Sombrero De Lopez.
• The Accordion Thief's Epic Pants are the Lederhosen of the Night.
• The Accordion Thief's Epic Accessory is the La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez.
• The Accordion Thief's Legendary Regalia is the Legendary Regalia of the Master Squeezeboxer.
• The Accordion Thief's Hardcore ascension reward is the stainless steel suspenders.
• The Accordion Thief's Hardcore Oxygenarian ascension reward is the plexiglass pendant.
• The Accordion Thief's Bad Moon ascension reward is the Brimstone Beret.
• The Accordion Thief's secret from the future reward is the musty moccasins.
• The Accordion Thief's Hateful Habiliment item is the Lens of Hatred.
• The Accordion Thief's Violent Vestments item is the Jodhpurs of Violence.
• Accordion Thieves can get a left-handed melodica from the Hobo Marketplace.
• The bejeweled accordion strap and the chintzy accordion pin confer their enchantment bonus only to Accordion Thieves.
• The Accordion Thief's Nemesis Quest familiar is the Mariachi Chihuahua.
• The Accordion Thief's level 30 trophy is the Maestro of Mariachi.

Songs

Accordion Thief songs must be played using an accordion -- the accordion used determines the number of adventures granted per cast:

• stolen accordion -- 5 Adventures
• calavera concertina -- 7 Adventures
• Rock and Roll Legend -- 10 Adventures
• Squeezebox of the Ages -- 15 Adventures
• The Trickster's Trikitixa -- 20 Adventures

If a specific accordion is wielded, it will be used to play all songs. Otherwise, the best accordion in the player's inventory will be automatically selected.

Limitations

Normally, a character may only have up to three songs active at the same time. For ways to increase this limit, see Extra Songs.

There are some songs with limits on how many times an Accordion Thief (or similarly-skilled character) can play them a day. All of these songs can be recorded by an Accordion Thief (after a certain sidequest), and subsequently traded.

• Each Hobopolis song can only be cast up to 10 times per day.
• Donho's Bubbly Ballad can be cast up to 50 times per day.
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration can be cast up to 5 times per day.

The Hobopolis skills, as an even more special case, can only be used if the target is at least level 15. There is no level requirement for the caster.

Notes

• Many Accordion Thieves use their high moxie stat to fight with plinking.

History

• All Accordion Thieves (and Disco Bandits) started with the skill Moxious Maneuver before the skill was removed on May 22, 2013.

References

• Polka and Zydeco are folk musical styles that typically incorporate accordions. Mariachi is a similar folk musical style, but which typically does not use accordions.
• "Squeezebox" and "button box" are slang names for the accordion. A concertina is a similar button-operated bellows reed instrument. A hurdy gurdy is a button-operated violin, which contains strings instead of reeds. A trikitixa is a Basque accordion (which is, oddly enough, named after the sound made by its usual accompaniment, a tambourine).
• The large amount of titles with prefixes before you reach Accordion Thief (10-15) refers to Dungeons & Dragons (1st Edition), and the tendency to have large prefixed level titles for almost all classes.

Classes
Seal Clubber	Turtle Tamer	Pastamancer	Sauceror	Disco Bandit	Accordion Thief