Accordion Thief

From TheKolWiki

Description

• (Male:) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the ladies."
• (Female:) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the gentlemen."

Skills

Most Accordion Thief skills are learned from The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts. The skills from levels 1-4 cost 200, 800, 1800, and 3200 Meat respectively to learn, while all higher level skills cost 1,000 per level. All Accordion Thieves begin with the free skills Moxie of the Mariachi and Sing. Completing the Spookyraven Manor Quest grants you the Dirge of Dreadfulness skill. Additionally, Accordion Thieves can learn special skills from sheet music dropped by the Hobopolis elemental bosses.

Accordion Thief buffs are different from other effects: ordinarily you may only have three of them active at once (or four with the plexiglass pendant or brimstone beret equipped). Note that this only applies to Buffs and not to the other types of skills such as Moxie of the Mariachi.

You must have either a stolen accordion, a calavera concertina, a Rock and Roll Legend or the Squeezebox of the Ages in inventory in order to be able to cast Accordion Thief Buffs. The stolen accordion gives your Buffs a base duration of 5 turns, the calavera concertina gives your Buffs a base duration of 7 turns, a Rock and Roll Legend gives your Buffs a base duration of 10 turns and the Squeezebox of the Ages gives your Buffs a base duration of 15 turns. If you have an accordion equipped you will cast buffs using that accordion; if not you will use the best accordion in your inventory.

At Level 9 or higher, Accordion Thieves who can access The Shadowy Store in The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts are also able to shop at The Smacketeria in The Brotherhood of the Smackdown and Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery in The League of Chef-Magi, although only the magical mystery juice, the delectable catalyst, the kickback cookbook, the enchanted brass knuckles, Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs, the cheap wind-up clock, the blood of the Wereseal and the turtle pheromones are usable by the class. Magical mystery juice is highly popular for fueling the buffs of the class.

Accordion Thieves (as well as Disco Bandits) begin the game with the free skill Moxious Maneuver, a combat skill which uses Moxie to determine hit chance and damage and costs an amount of MP equal to their current level. Also, like Disco Bandits, Accordion Thieves have the ability to pickpocket, giving them the option to try to steal an item when they get the jump on a monster.

Level	Skill	Description	Effect	Type	MP Cost
0	Moxie of the Mariachi	By diligently practicing playing the accordion at your campsite, you can channel the Moxie of the Mariachi -- your Moxie and Maximum HP will increase for a period of time.	Mariachi Mood (+1 Moxie, +3 HP) (5 Adventures)	Non-combat	1
0	Sing	You know that thing from old commercials where somebody sings and breaks a champagne glass? This skill lets you do that, except with skulls.	Deals 2-3 damage on use, and then 2-3 damage each turn after casting.	Combat	1
1	The Moxious Madrigal	Hearing this song will fill you (or somebody else) with great Moxie.	The Moxious Madrigal (+10 Moxie) (X Adventures)	Buff	2
2	The Magical Mojomuscular Melody	This song will attune you (or somebody else) with your (or somebody else's) spirituality (hippy) and increase your (or somebody else's) Mysticality and maximum MP.	Magical Mojomuscular Melody (+10 Mysticality and +20 MP) (X Adventures)	Buff	3
3	Cletus's Canticle of Celerity	Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will begin to move very quickly, and with improved combat reaction times.	Cletus's Canticle of Celerity (+20% Combat Initiative) (X Adventures)	Buff	4
4	The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith	This song will fill you (or somebody else) with passionate intensity, and great Strengthliness. Your (or somebody else's) Muscle and maximum HP will be increased.	Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith (+10 Muscle and +20 HP) (X Adventures)	Buff	5
5	The Polka of Plenty	This song will fill you (or somebody else) with greed, and make more Meat drop from monsters in combat.	Polka of Plenty (+50% Meat from Monsters) (X Adventures)	Buff	7
6	Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction	This horrible song will make whoever hears it very angry. And anger, in this case, will correspond with increased melee, ranged and spell damage.	Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction (+12 Weapon and Spell Damage) (X Adventures)	Buff	9
7	Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric	Upon hearing this song, the listener will be imbued with superior looting skills - monsters will drop items more frequently in combat.	Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric (+20% Items from Monsters) (X Adventures)	Buff	11
8	Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption	Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will gain a strange absorbency. Monsters will do less damage to you (or somebody else) in combat.	Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption (floor(level1.2) Damage Reduction) (X Adventures)	Buff	13
9	The Psalm of Pointiness	And lo, unto the audience shall be conjured an aura of pointiness, and verily shalt those who attack the audience be poked as though with legion pointy objects.	Psalm of Pointiness (Delevels 1 to 5 Monster Level and causes 4-8 enemy damage when player is hit) (X Adventures)	Buff	15
10	Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority	This song will impart upon its listener a sense of righteous indignation. This indignation will manifest as a 10% increase in all of the listener's stats.	Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority (+10% to All Attributes) (X Adventures)	Buff	30
11	Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude	This song makes it so you (or another player) learn more from your combat experiences, and gain more stats from battles.	Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude (+1 Strongness, +1 Mysteriousness, +1 Chutzpah per fight) (X Adventures)	Buff	40
12	The Ode to Booze	This is the best song ever. Whoever hears this song will gain a remarkable ability to drink, and will gain more adventures from alcoholic beverages.	Ode to Booze (+1-4 Adventure per drink, depending on the quality) (X Adventures)	Buff	50
13	The Sonata of Sneakiness	Hearing this song will imbue the listener with astounding obfuscative abilities, and make them less likely to encounter monsters while adventuring.	The Sonata of Sneakiness (Reduces Combat Frequency) (X Adventures)	Buff	20
14	Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation	Hearing this song will increase the listener's production of anger pheromones. Monsters will be more attracted to them.	Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation (Increases Combat Frequency) (X Adventures)	Buff	20
15	Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance	This song generates an aura of intense annoyingness around anyone who hears it. The aura makes monsters want to hit the possessor much, much harder.	Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance (+2 Monster Level per level of listener) (X Adventures)	Buff	30
Spookyraven Manor Quest Skill
N/A	Dirge of Dreadfulness	This song is depressing. Not in a melancholy, I-haven't-heard-this- since-way-back-when way, but in a soul-crushing hopelessness way. Seriously. Sad, sad song.	Dirge of Dreadfulness (+12 Spooky Damage) (+12 Damage to Spooky Spells) (X Adventures)	Buff	9
Hobopolis Skills
N/A	The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder	This song tells the story of Richie Thingfinder, the luckiest hobo in the world. Playing this for somebody is sure to rub some of that luck off onto them, making them more likely to find items and Meat.	The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder (+50% Meat from Monsters) (+20% Items from Monsters) (X Adventures)	Buff	50
N/A	Benetton's Medley of Diversity	This medley teaches an important lesson -- that monsters come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, but in the big picture, they're all equally evil.	Benetton's Medley of Diversity (+15 Hot, Cold, Stench, Sleaze, and Spooky damage) (X Adventures)	Buff	50
N/A	Elron's Explosive Etude	Playing this song for somebody will fill their head with unstable magic energy, making their spells far more powerful than they would ordinarily be. And far more delicious.	Elron's Explosive Etude (+50% Spell Damage) (X Adventures)	Buff	50
N/A	Chorale of Companionship	Playing this song for somebody will depress them, but make them value their familiars more.	Chorale of Companionship (+10 to Familiar weight) (X Adventures)	Buff	50
N/A	Prelude of Precision	Playing this song for somebody will set their head a-buzzing, and steady their hands, making them more likely to get critical hits with weapons.	Prelude of Precision (+2% Critical Hit Chance) (X Adventures)	Buff	50
Sea Floor Skill
N/A	Donho's Bubbly Ballad	Why does this song make you feel so light, and so airy? I donho.	Donho's Bubbly Ballad (20% underwater penalty reduction) (X Adventures)	Buff	75

Levels

The amount of Moxie required to attain level L follows the formula Moxie = L² - 2L+ 5.

Class Gear

• Accordion Thieves start with mariachi pants and a stolen accordion in their inventory.
• The Accordion Thief's Epic Weapon is the Rock and Roll Legend.
• The Accordion Thief's Legendary Epic Weapon is the Squeezebox of the Ages.
• The Accordion Thief's Epic Hat is El Sombrero De Lopez.
• The Accordion Thief's Hardcore ascension reward is the stainless steel suspenders.
• The Accordion Thief's Hardcore Oxygenarian ascension reward is the plexiglass pendant.
• The Accordion Thief's Bad Moon ascension reward is the Brimstone Beret.
• Accordion Thieves can get a left-handed melodica from the Hobo Marketplace.
• The bejeweled accordion strap and the chintzy accordion pin confer their enchantment bonus only to Accordion Thieves.
• The Accordion Thief's level 30 trophy is the Maestro of Mariachi.

Songs

• Accordion Thief songs must be played using an accordion -- the accordion used determines the number of adventures granted per cast:
  • stolen accordion -- 5 Adventures
  • calavera concertina -- 7 Adventures
  • Rock and Roll Legend -- 10 Adventures
  • Squeezebox of the Ages -- 15 Adventures
• If a specific accordion is wielded, it will be used to play all songs. Otherwise, the best accordion in the player's inventory will be automatically selected.
• The Hobopolis skills can only be used if the target is at least level 15. There is no level requirement for the caster.
• Each Hobopolis song can only be cast up to 10 times per day.
• Donho's Bubbly Ballad can be cast up to 50 times per day.

References

• Polka and Zydeco are folk musical styles that typically incorporate accordions. Mariachi is a similar folk musical style, but which typically does not use accordions.
• "Squeezebox" and "button box" are slang names for the accordion. A concertina is a similar button-operated bellows reed instrument. A hurdy gurdy is a button-operated violin, which contains strings instead of reeds.
• The large amount of titles with prefixes before you reach Accordion Thief (10-15) refers to Dungeons & Dragons (1st Edition), and the tendency to have large prefixed level titles for almost all classes.

Classes
Seal Clubber Seal Clubber	Turtle Tamer Turtle Tamer	Pastamancer Pastamancer	Sauceror Sauceror	Disco Bandit Disco Bandit	Accordion Thief Accordion Thief